Wednesday, August 16, 2017

PINOCCHIO CENTNER TAKES CENTER STAGE TO AUDIENCE CRIES OF "DILDO" !!!

THE CURTAIN CAME DOWN ON THE MEDINA PLAYERS' PRODUCTION OF THE BOBBIT, WITH STRONG PERFORMANCES BY PHILANDERING, ILLEGITIMATE "jUDGE WEASELPECKER" COLLIER IN THE LEAD ROLE OF DILDO BAGGINS, THE PROTAGONIST.  EQUALLY IMPRESSIVE WAS THE STRONG PERFORMANCE OF "WEASLPECKER" COLLIER'S OFFICIAL COURT REPORTER (WITH BENEFITS) DONNA "HAVE IT YOUR WAY" GARRITY AS "WEASELPECKER'S" BIMBO,  IN THE ROLE OF BIMBO BAGGINS.

THE FINAL EVENING OF THE PRODUCTION, MET WITH A STANDING OVATION, WAS NOT WITHOUT INCIDENT, HOWEVER.  AS THE FINAL CURTAIN CAME DOWN, THE AUDIENCE LET OUT WITH CHANTS OF, "DILDO!  DILDO! DILDO!"

IN AN EMBARRASSING MOMENT, EVEN BEFORE THE ENTIRE CAST HAD ASSEMBLED FOR THE CURTAIN CALL, PINOCCHIO CENTNER, A PENCIL-PUSHING DESK JOCKEY AT THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE DARTED ONTO THE STAGE IN THE MISTAKEN BELIEF THE AUDIENCE WAS CALLING FOR HIS APPEARANCE, AND UNDERSTANDABLY SO.

AS IT TURNS OUT, CENTNER HAD BEEN AN UNDERSTUDY FOR "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER IN THE ROLE OF DILDO BAGGINS!

FOLLOWING THE CURTAIN CALL, THE MEDIA CRITIC FROM THE MEDINA GASSETTE SOUGHT COMMENT FROM "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER ABOUT CENTNER'S OBVIOUS FAUX PAS.

"WEASELPECKER" COLLIER, TRYING TO SMOOTH IT ALL OVER, SIMPLY CALLED IT ALL A COLOSSAL MISTAKE, CITING TO THE FACT THAT CENTNER HAD BEEN HIS UNDERSTUDY AND DESERVED SOME RECOGNITION AS A DILDO !  "NO HARM DONE THOUGH," SAID "WEASELPECKER."  '"I AM CONFIDENT THAT CENTNER MAY VERY WELL LAND THE LEAD ROLE OF DILDO BAGGINS IN THE EVENT WE  SHOULD REPRISE THE PRODUCTION.  I KNOW OF NO ONE ELSE MORE QUALIFIED TO PLAY THE LEAD ROLE OF THE DILDO IN THE WHOLE OF MEDINA COUNTY.  BESIDES, IT WILL GIVE HIM THE OPPORTUNITY TO GET OFF HIS DEAD ASS AND FROM BEHIND HIS DESK.  BEING A DESK JOCKEY, LIKE CENTNER IS, TENDS TO WARP THE PERSPECTIVE OF THE REALITIES OF THE ACTUAL NEEDS OF THE COMMUNITY!"

SO, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER HAS GRACEFULLY PASSED THE BATON TO PINOCCHIO CENTNER, FROM ONE DILDO TO ANOTHER.

BRAVO !!!

Saturday, August 12, 2017

LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP: A GOOD PLACE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER!

ONCE THE DRUG DEALERS IN CLEVELAND AND AKRON GET WIND OF THE FACT THAT HOMICIDES COMMITTED IN LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP, THE "SUICIDE" RATE IN LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP IS CERTAINLY TO RISE DRAMATICALLY!

IN FACT, THE NUMBER OF DRUG DEALERS RELOCATING TO LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP IS BOUND TO GROW EXPONENTIALLY!

SOON, LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP WILL BE THE NEW SHOWPLACE OF DOPER RIDES, CUSTOM PAINT JOBS, GOLD LOW-RIDER RIMS, AND 1,000,000 DECIBEL AMPLIFIERS TO ENTERTAIN THE NEIGHBORS WITH RAP MUSIC.

IT SOUNDS LIKE PARADISE DOESN'T IT?

CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING HYPOTHETICAL.

MAURICE, A CLEVELAND DRUG DEALER WITH MANY COMPETITIVE ENEMIES, DECIDES THAT IT IS GOOD FOR BUSINESS TO MOVE TO LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TO AVOID THE PRYING EYES OF REAL POLICE.

MAURICE DECIDES TO BUILD A HOME, VALUED AT $850,000, NEAR THE PRESENT LOCATION OF INNOVATION PARK.  NOW MAURICE, LIKE ALL ACCOMPLISHED DRUG DEALERS, HAS A PENCHANT FOR FULLY AUTOMATIC WEAPONS SO AS TO BEST THE COMPETITION.  MAURICE, OF COURSE, NEEDS A FAIRLY LARGE RURAL PROPERTY WITH AMPLE ROOM TO FIRE HIS AUTOMATIC WEAPONS IN THE COURSE OF TARGET PRACTICE.

AFTER MAURICE'S HOME IS FINALLY CONSTRUCTED AND FITTED WITH SECURITY CAMERAS, MAURICE DECIDES HE NEEDS TO HAVE A FEW PETS AROUND HIS RURAL PROPERTY. MAURICE THEN GOES TO THE APL AND "ADOPTS" SIX FULLY GROWN PIT BULL CANINES, ALL PREVIOUSLY QUARANTINED FOLLOWING ATTACKS ON HUMANS.  ACTUALLY, MAURICE DECIDES TO FORM A NON-PROFIT PIT BULL RESCUE AND RECEIVES A TAX ABATEMENT FROM BETHANY DENTLER, THE DE FACTO MAYOR OF MEDINA COUNTY, WITH THE FULL APPROVAL OF LAFAYETTE TRUSTEE LYNDA BOWERS.  AFTER ALL, THE FIRST AND ONLY TIME MAURICE VOTED IN ANY ELECTION, HE DECLARED HIMSELF TO BE A REPUBLICRAT.

NEIGHBORS EVENTUALLY BECOME CONCERNED THAT THEY HEAR GUNSHOTS COMING FROM THE DIRECTION OF MAURICE'S HOUSE AT ALL HOURS OF THE DAY AND NIGHT, WHICH SHERIFF'S DE(PEW)TIES DISMISS AS NOTHING MORE THAN MAURICE AT TARGET PRACTICE AT 3:00 AM!

ON THE FOLLOWING DAY, SHERIFF'S DE(PEW)TIES RESPOND TO THE REPORT OF A BODY FOUND LYING ON THE BERM OF THE ROADWAY APPROXIMATELY 1 MILE SOUTH OF MAURICE'S HOME.

NEARBY, THEY FIND THE VICTIM'S ABANDONED BULLET-RIDDLED GOLD CADILLAC.

LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEES ARE IMMEDIATELY NOTIFIED AND RESPOND PROMPTLY TO THE SCENE.  LYNDA BOWERS, AROUSED BY HER CURIOSITY, GOES THROUGH THE POCKETS OF THE VICTIM LOOKING FOR ANY "SECRET NOTES" WHILE THE DE(PEW)TIES LOOK ON,  JUST LIKE SHE RUMMAGED THROUGH THE CRIME SCENE AT THE LAFAYETTE ADMIN BUILDING ON DECEMBER 16, 2016, THE DATE OF THE REPORTED "DISAPPEARANCE" OF LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE BRYON MACRON, LOOKING FOR ANY "SECRET NOTE" THAT BRYON MAY HAVE LEFT BEHIND (THAT BY BOWERS' OWN ADMISSION).

AT ABOUT THAT TIME, SHERIFF "I DUNNO" MILLER AND CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER ARRIVE ON SCENE.  THE CORONER'S INVESTIGATOR INFORMS MILLER AND CENTNER THAT THE VICTIM SUSTAINED 14 BULLET WOUNDS, INCLUDING 6 IN THE BACK AND 2 AT THE BACK OF THE HEAD!

AFTER CONFERRING BRIEFLY, MILLER AND CENTNER COME TO MUTUAL AGREEMENT THAT THE VICTIM OBVIOUSLY COMMITTED SUICIDE!

AT A PRESS CONFERENCE HELD 8 MONTHS LATER, WHEN THE FINAL AUTOPSY REPORT IS RELEASED, CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER STANDS BEFORE THE NEWS CAMERAS AND BOLDLY DECLARES

"THIS IS THE MOST OBVIOUS CASE OF SUICIDE I HAVE EVER SEEN.  IN ALL OF MY MANY YEARS ON THIS JOB, SITTING BEHIND A DESK AND PUSHING A PENCIL, BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I HAVE READ A LOT OF SUICIDE REPORTS.

"WHILE THE CORONER HAS RULED THE CAUSE AND MANNER OF DEATH TO BE "UNDETERMINED," WE CANNOT RULE OUT THAT EUGENE SMITH, THE VICTIM, MAY HAVE DIED FROM SELF-INDUCED LEAD POISONING.

"DURING OUR EXTENSIVE INVESTIGATION, WE LEARNED THAT EUGENE INCURRED A LARGE AMOUNT OF DEBT AND ENGAGED IN ACTIVITIES UNKNOWN TO HIS FAMILY, BUT WE ARE NOT GOING TO GET INTO THAT.  WE DIDN'T SPEND A WHOLE LOT OF TIME INVESTIGATING IN MR. SMITH'S NEIGHBORHOOD BECAUSE OF ALL THOSE SCARY BLACK GUYS HANGING AROUND AND OUR SWAD (SPECIAL WEAPONS AND DONUTS) TEAM WASN'T AVAILABLE.

"IT IS CLEAR TO OUR FINE SQUAD OF "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVES THAT EUGENE SMITH WAS THE ONLY PERSON INVOLVED IN HIS DEATH."

LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP, UNDER PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES, IS SURE TO BECOME A DOPE DEALER'S NIRVANA WHERE YOU CAN COMMIT MURDER AND GET AWAY WITH IT!

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

IT'S TIME TO GO GREEN! A FISCALLY SOUND PROPOSAL SURELY TO BE A BOON TO LOCAL TAXPAYERS!

IT IS FINALLY TIME FOR MEDINA COUNTY GOVERNMENT TO MOVE INTO THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY AND GO GREEN! BURNING FOSSIL FUELS IS DEGRADING THE PLANET CONTRIBUTING TO GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE, WHICH BRINGS WITH IT RISING SEA LEVELS.  MEDINA COUNTY, LOCATED DEEP WITHIN THE LAWLESS LAKE ERIE BAYOU, WILL MOST CERTAINLY BE AFFECTED.

TOWARD THE END OF ACHIEVING SUSTAINABILITY AND SAVING THE PLANET, THE BLOGGER OFFERS UP THE FOLLOWING FISCALLY SOUND PROPOSAL THAT WILL BE A BOON TO LOCAL TAXPAYERS AND IN THE COURSE OF SO DOING, MAKE MEDINA COUNTY THE ENVY OF OTHER LOCAL GOVERNMENTS THROUGHOUT THE LAND SUCH AS COOK COUNTY, ILLINOIS AND DADE COUNTY, FLORIDA (BOTH OF WHICH, LIKE MEDINA COUNTY,  HAVE A RICH AND STORIED HISTORY OF PUBLIC CORRUPTION).

THE MEDINA GASSETTE, THE ORACLE OF THE MEDINA COUNTY REPUBLICRAT PARTY, HAS RECENTLY PUBLISHED A PENETRATING "INVESTIGATIVE" ARTICLE ANNOUNCING THAT SHERIFF "I DUNNO" MILLER'S CHIEF BEAN COUNTER AND DESK JOCKEY, CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER IS PREPARED TO APPROACH THE COUNTY COMMISSIONERS FOR MORE MONEY TO PURCHASE TWO NEW CARS FOR DONUT RUNS TO DUNKIN' DONUTS.

ACCORDING TO THE ARTICLE, PINOCCHIO CENTER IS PREPARED TO ARGUE THAT TWO CARS IN THE SHERIFF'S FLEET EACH HAVE IN EXCESS OF 200,000 MILES, THAT IS 400,000 MILES IN THE AGGREGATE.  CAN READERS IMAGINE JUST HOW MANY DONUT RUNS THESE CARS HAVE MADE TO DUNKIN' DONUTS?

THE ARTICLE GOES ON TO CITE PINOCCHIO CENTNER WHO CLAIMS THE REPLACEMENT COST OF EACH VEHICLE TO BE $40, 000 PER COPY, FOR THE TOTAL SUM OF $80,000, MORE OR LESS.

CAN YOU, THE READERS, IMAGINE HOW MANY DOZENS OF DONUTS $80,000 CAN BUY?

GO GREEN PROPOSAL

IF MEMORY SERVES, CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER, AFTER DUTIFULLY COUNTING ALL THE BEANS, HAS CLAIMED THAT THE SHERIFF EXPENDED MORE THAN $169,000 ON VEHICLE REPAIRS AND MAINTENANCE.  ADD FUEL COSTS TO THAT AND READERS WILL QUICKLY CONCLUDE THAT TAXPAYERS ARE HAVING A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF THEIR TAX DOLLARS EXPENDED ON THIRD-RATE "SERVICES" (IF THAT IS THE PROPER TERM) FROM THE SHERIFF.  READERS NEED LOOK NO FURTHER THAN THE NO-INVESTIGATION INTO THE MURDER OF LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE BRYON MACRON, WHICH THESE MORONS HAVE UNSUCCESSFULLY TRIED TO PASS OFF AS A SUICIDE TO COVER UP POLITICAL INTRIGUE IN MEDINA COUNTY.

EVEN STEVIE WONDER CAN SEE THIS CRIME WAS NOT A SUICIDE!

WITH AN EYE TO FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY, THE BLOGGER OFFERS THE FOLLOWING GREEN ALTERNATIVE TO REPLACING HIGH-MILEAGE, GAS GUZZLERS WITH A FLEET OF SENSIBLE, ECO-FRIENDLY VEHICLES SUITED TO PERFECTLY MEET THE SHERIFF'S TRANSPORTATION NEEDS.

THE BASIC PATROL VEHICLE

SHOWN BELOW IS THE BASIC, NO-FRILLS PATROL VEHICLE TO BE ASSIGNED TO THE SHERIFF'S ROAD DIVISION, WITH A BASE PRICE RANGING FROM $355-$405.  TAXPAYERS WOULD LIKELY SEE A SIGNIFICANT VOLUME DISCOUNT ON THE PURCHASE OF 50 OR MORE REPLACEMENT PATROL VEHICLES!












THIS STUNNING BASIC PATROL VEHICLE IS STREET LEGAL, ELECTRICALLY OPERATED AND EQUIPPED WITH A HIGH PERFORMANCE 1,000 WATT, 250 CC ENGINE, PERFECT FOR PURSUING THOSE WAYWARD JUVENILES IN POSSESSION OF WEED, THE CREATION OF THE DEVIL!

THE BASIC PATROL VEHICLES WILL HAVE TO BE SELECTIVELY UPGRADED, HOWEVER, AT A SLIGHT UP CHARGE!  FOR EXAMPLE, THE HANDLEBARS WILL HAVE TO BE UPGRADED WITH RED COLORED EMERGENCY LIGHTING, SHOWN BELOW.




THE UPGRADE COST IS A MERE $2.44 (WITH FREE SHIPPING),  A REAL BARGAIN AT ANY WANNABE COP SHOP!  THIS NIFTY LITTLE NUMBER WILL GIVE FAIR WARNING TO DRIVERS TRAVELING AT LESS THAN 20 MPH TO CLEAR THE ROADWAY AND MAKE WAY FOR SHERIFF'S DE(PEW)TIES IN HOT PURSUIT OF THOSE JUVIES LITTERING THE COUNTY WITH CANDY BAR WRAPPERS.

HEAVY-DUTY SHOCKS WILL ALSO BE A REQUIRED UPGRADE.  THESE DE(PEW)TIES HAVE REALLY BEEN PACKING ON THE POUNDS WITH ALL THE DONUTS THEY'VE BEEN GOBBLING UP!

AN OPTIONAL CARGO CARRIER, SHOWN BELOW, IS A MANDATORY UPGRADE, SUFFICIENT TO TRANSPORT NO FEWER THAN A BAKER'S DOZEN (13) DUNKIN' DONUTS DONUTS OR 18 KRISPY KREMES!



AT A COST OF $59.95 - $89.95 PER COPY, SOME MIGHT THINK THIS UPGRADE IS A LITTLE PRICEY. AFTER SOME COST/BENEFIT ANALYSIS, HOWEVER, IT IS CLEAR THAT THIS MODEST INVESTMENT TURNS OUT TO BE A REAL MONEY SAVER.  INSTEAD OF MAKING A DONUT RUN TO DUNKIN' DONUTS TO RE-UP AFTER 2 OR 3 DONUTS ARE GONE, DE(PEW)TIES CAN SIMPLY REACH BACK INTO THE DUFFLE AND GORGE THEMSELVES ON ANOTHER FEW DONUTS WHILE ON PATROL AND BEFORE THE NEXT COFFEE & DONUT BREAK.

FINALLY, A LIMITED NUMBER OF BASIC PATROL VEHICLES WILL HAVE TO BE MODIFIED TO ACCOMMODATE THE NEEDS OF THE SHERIFF'S CHICKENSHIT SQUAD (SIMPLY KNOWN AMONG THEIR PEERS AS THE CHICKENSHITS) WHO ARE CHARGED WITH ENFORCING THE CHICKENSHIT ACT OF 2016 BY ROUNDING UP ALL THE ERRANT FREE RANGE CHICKENS ROAMING THE COUNTY. AN EASY IN, EASY OUT CAGE, SHOWN BELOW, FITTED TO THE BASIC PATROL VEHICLE WILL DO NICELY.
THESE BASIC, GREEN PATROL VEHICLES WILL MAKE A SUBSTANTIAL POSITIVE CONTRIBUTION TO SAVING THE PLANET!

BEAN COUNTER TRANSPORT (SPECIAL ORDER)

IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT THE SHERIFF'S MAIN BEAN COUNTER, CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTER, CANNOT BE OVERLOOKED WHEN PLACING A NEW FLEET OF ECO-FRIENDLY VEHICLES INTO SERVICE. CRAPTAIN CENTNER, A DESK JOCKEY AND PENCIL PUSHER WHOSE ONLY HAZARDOUS DUTY IS BEING PLACED IN THE PATH OF AN ERRANT STAPLE FLYING ACROSS HIS DESK, CERTAINLY NEEDS THE COMFORT AND SECURITY OF HIDING BEHIND A DESK.  AFTER ALL, THOSE CHARGING HEREFORD CATTLE  CAN BE REALLY DANGEROUS WHEN STANDING BETWEEN THEM AND THE FEEDING TROUGH.

PRESENTED FOR READERS' CONSIDERATION IS A SPECIAL ORDER BEAN COUNTER TRANSPORT, WHICH, OF COURSE, WILL HAVE TO BE SPECIALLY ADAPTED FOR PINOCCHIO CENTER, THE BASIC MODEL SHOWN BELOW.  THE BASE MODEL IS ONLY A MODEST $525.00, A REAL BARGAIN TO ACCOMMODATE AN IMPORTANT PENCIL PUSHER LIKE CENTNER!


READERS WILL NOTE THE ERGONOMIC DESIGN.  A MESH BASKET AT THE FRONT OF THE VEHICLE WILL EASILY ACCOMMODATE TWO DOZEN DUNKIN' DONUTS OR THIRTY-SIX KRISPY KREME DONUTS.

READERS WILL NOTE, THAT EVEN TRAVELLING TO STAPLES TO PICK UP ANOTHER GROSS OF LEAD PENCILS, PINOCCHIO CENTNER WILL HAVE THE SENSUAL EXPERIENCE OF SITTING IN HIS PLUSH OFFICE CHAIR RIGHT BEHIND HIS OFFICE  DESK.  THE STANDARD BASKET WILL SURELY HOLD AT LEAST ONE FULL GROSS OF #2 LEAD PENCILS, ENOUGH TO LAST CENTNER FOR AT LEAST ONE MONTH.

SPECIAL UPGRADES WILL BE REQUIRED.  NO EMERGENCY LIGHTING WILL BE REQUIRED.  THE ONLY REAL EMERGENCY TO WHICH PINOCCHIO EVER RESPONDS IS A PAPER JAM IN THE OFFICE COPY MACHINE.

PINOCCHIO CENTNER'S BEAN COUNTER TRANSPORT WILL HAVE TO BE UPGRADED WITH AN AUTOMATIC PENCIL SHARPENER, SHOWN BELOW.

THIS IS A BARGAIN UPDATE AT AN UP CHARGE OF ONLY $20.99!  WITH THIS UPGRADE, CENTNER WILL HAVE NO FEAR OR ANXIETY OF BEING WITHOUT A SHARPENED PENCIL AT ALL TIMES.

ALSO, CENTNER'S BEAN COUNTER TRANSPORT MUST BE UPGRADED WITH AN INDESTRUCTIBLE STAINLESS STEEL PAIL SO AS TO PERMIT HIM TO CONTINUE COUNTING BEANS TO AND FROM DUNKIN' DONUTS. 



THE UP CHARGE FOR THE STAINLESS STEEL PAIL IS NEGLIGIBLE!

THE NEXT MANDATORY UPGRADE IS AN INDUSTRIAL GRADE BROOM TO PERMIT PINOCCHIO CENTNER TO SWEEP THE FACTS AND THE TRUTH UNDER THE RUG, A USUAL AND CUSTOMARY PRACTICE IN THE MEDINA COUNTY "JUSTUS" SYSTEM!




THE BLOGGER, OF COURSE, IS NOT REFERRING TO THE RECENT "PRESS" CONFERENCE RELATING TO THE HOMICIDE OF LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE BRYON MACRON.  PINOCCHIO CENTNER DIDN'T SWEEP ANY REAL FACTS UNDER THE RUG SIMPLY BECAUSE HE DID NOT HAVE ANY REAL AND TRUE FACTS TO BEGIN WITH!!!

TRUTH BE TOLD, THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF CONCLUDED ON DECEMBER 16, 2016, THE DATE ON WHICH BRYON "DISAPPEARED," THAT BRYON HAD COMMITTED SUICIDE.  WHY BOTHER INVESTIGATING A "SUICIDE," SO THEY DIDN'T BOTHER!  WHAT A BUNCH OF COMPLETE MORONS WITH NO CHARACTER AND NO INTEGRITY.  KEYSTONE KOPS WITH THE UNFETTERED ABILITY TO SCREW UP EVEN THE MOST INNOCENT OF WET DREAMS!

LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, PINOCCHIO CENTNER'S BEAN COUNTER TRANSPORT MUST BE EQUIPPED WITH A BULLSHIT SPREADER TO BE USED IN ALL FUTURE "PRESS" CONFERENCES WHERE CENTNER ROUTINELY SPREADS IMPROBABLE UNADULTERATED BULLSHIT IN AN UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT TO CONCEAL AND COVER UP THE COMPLETE INCOMPETENCE OF THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE WHERE CORRUPT POLITICIANS ARE THE TAIL THAT WAGS THE DOG.




WHILE $4,500 MIGHT SEEM TO BE AN EXORBITANT AMOUNT TO EXPEND FOR AN UPGRADE, FAR OUTSTRIPPING THE INITIAL INVESTMENT OF THE $525.00 BASE COST OF THE BEAN COUNTER TRANSPORT, THE READERS SHOULD TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE SHEER VOLUME OF UNADULTERATED BULLSHIT THAT CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER THROWS AROUND DAILY!

SWAD VAN (SPECIAL WEAPONS AND DONUTS)

THERE ARE RARE OCCASIONS THAT THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF IS REQUIRED TO MUSTER THE RESOURCES OF THE MEDINA COUNTY SWAD (SPECIAL WEAPONS AND DONUTS) TEAM.  ARRESTING ITINERANT MARAUDING AFRICAN AMERICAN MALES TRAVELING THOUGH THE COUNTY ON INTERSTATE 71 TYPICALLY CALLS FOR A RESPONSE FROM THE MEDINA COUNTY SWAD TEAM. 

THE PROPOSED SWAD VAN IS DEPICTED BELOW.


THE BASE PRICE OF OF THIS TURBO CHARGED 150 CC FOUR-STROKE ENGINE, ALTHOUGH NOT ELECTRICALLY OPERATED,  AT ONLY $800.00 IS MORE THAN REASONABLE. THE SWAD VAN IS CERTAINLY SUFFICIENTLY POWERFUL ENOUGH TO TRANSPORT THE ENTIRE SWAD TEAM TO RUSTLE A HERD OF CATTLE OUT OF THE COUNTY'S MANY RURAL ROADWAYS WITHOUT INORDINATE DELAY!

UNLIKE THE BEAN COUNTER TRANSPORT, THE SWAD VAN REQUIRES ONLY ONE UPGRADE, AN INDUSTRIAL BROOM (SHOWN ABOVE) TO SWEEP THE COW MANURE OFF THE ROADWAY.

THE SWAD VAN CAN PROPERLY BE INTEGRATED INTO THE FLEET AS A MULTI-PURPOSE VEHICLE, PERFECT FOR GROUP DONUTS RUNS TO DUNKIN' DONUTS BETWEEN EMERGENCY COW RUNS.

CENTRALLY LOCATED CHARGING STATIONS

WHILE SOME MIGHT QUESTION THE WISDOM OF RELYING UPON AN ALL-ELECTRIC FLEET OF SHERIFF'S SERVICE VEHICLES FOR WANT OF SUFFICIENT CHARGING STATIONS, THAT PROBLEM IS EASILY SOLVED.

THE COUNTY NEED ONLY INSTALL CHARGING STATIONS AT THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE, LOCATED IN PETTICOAT JUNCTION AND AT EVERY DONUT SHOP WITHIN THE BOUNDARIES OF MEDINA COUNTY.  CITIZENS CAN BE ASSURED THAT THE SHERIFF'S FLEET OF BASIC PATROL VEHICLES WILL BE FULLY CHARGED AT ALL TIMES.

IT IS FINALLY TIME FOR MEDINA COUNTY, LOCATED DEEP WITHIN THE LAWLESS LAKE ERIE BAYOU, TO TAKE A FIRST STEP INTO THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY WITH A MODEST INVESTMENT IN "GREEN" TECHNOLOGY!  READING LESSONS FOR SHERIFF'S PERSONNEL COME NEXT!


Monday, August 7, 2017

HISTORY POP QUIZ !

IN ORDER TO OFFER REGULAR READERS SOME BRIEF RESPITE FROM THE NORMAL GRIME AND CORRUPTION IN MEDINA COUNTY, THE BLOGGER HAS DECIDED TO PUBLISH A POP QUIZ TO TEST READERS' KNOWLEDGE OF TWENTIETH CENTURY RELATIVELY MODERN HISTORY.

FOLLOWING IS THE MULTIPLE CHOICE HISTORICAL QUESTION AND THE CORRECT  ANSWER:

QUESTION:  WHO IS REPORTED TO HAVE SAID, "I WANT TO BE A TAMPON?"

CHOICES:  A. BRITAIN'S PRINCE CHARLES

                     B. PHILANDERING ILLEGITIMATE MEDINA COUNTY JUDGE
                          "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER

THINK ABOUT YOUR ANSWER BEFORE POSITING A GUESS!

HERE IS THE CORRECT ANSWER:

A. PRINCE CHARLES IN A LATE NIGHT CELL PHONE CALL WITH CAMILLA BOWLES MADE THE AMUSING COMMENT.

THE ALMOST CORRECT ANSWER:

B. "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER IS ALMOST THE CORRECT ANSWER.  THE LANGUAGE OF THE QUOTATION IS REALLY THE KEY TO THE ANSWER AS ANY ASTUTE READER HAS QUICKLY REALIZED.

THE RATIONALE:

WHEREAS PRINCE CHARLES, A MEMBER OF THE ROYAL FAMILY, CLAIMED HE "WANTED TO BE A TAMPON,"  REGULAR READERS QUICKLY RECOGNIZED THAT "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER HAS LONG AGO BEEN RECOGNIZED AS A TAMPON.

AND A DOUCHEBAG, TOO!

Monday, July 31, 2017

MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF RELIES ON THE "WALKING DEAD" THEORY TO EXPLAIN AWAY AND COVERUP THE MURDER OF LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE BRYON MACRON !!!

IT IS OBVIOUS TO THE BLOGGER THAT MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF'S SPOKESMAN, PENCIL-PUSHING DESK JOCKEY AND BEAN COUNTER, CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER AND HIS LEAD DEFECTIVE DICKLESS TRACY HAVE WATCHED ONE TOO MANY EPISODES OF THE WALKING DEAD.  THEIR ATTEMPTS TO PASS OFF THE HOMICIDE OF BRYON MACRON AS A SUICIDE IS PROFOUNDLY IRRATIONAL AND RELIES ON THE PREMISE THAT BRYON CAST HIMSELF INTO THE LAKE AFTER HIS DECEASE.  WHILE THAT THEORY MAY MAKE A GOOD STORY LINE ON AN EPISODE OF THE WALKING DEAD, THEIR THEORY (AND IT IS ONLY A THEORY)  IS WILDLY PREPOSTEROUS AND DOES NOT SQUARE WITH THE FACTS.

FACT #1 -  THE CUYAHOGA COUNTY CORONER, A SPECIALIST IN FORENSIC MEDICINE, FOUND NO WATER IN BRYON'S LUNGS OR AIRWAY.  WHAT THAT MEANS, EVEN TO THE UNINFORMED LAYMAN, IS THAT BRYON WAS ALREADY DECEASED WHEN THE SUSPECT PLACED BRYON'S BODY IN THE WATER!  THERE IS NO OTHER PLAUSIBLE WAY TO EXPLAIN THIS UNDISPUTED FACT!!!

CRAPTAIN PINOCCHO CENTNER MADE THE FALSE BOLD STATEMENT THAT NO ONE OTHER THAN BRYON MACRON WAS INVOLVED IN HIS DEATH.  THERE IS GOOD REASON TO BELIEVE THAT BRYON HAD DIRECT CONTACT WITH HIS ASSAILANT IMMEDIATELY PRIOR TO THE FATAL ENCOUNTER. THESE "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVES HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO IDENTIFY THE REAL KILLER AND NOW ATTEMPT TO COVERUP NOTHING LESS THAN THEIR COMPLETE AND TOTAL INCOMPETENCE AT IDENTIFYING THE SUSPECT.

CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER CONVENIENTLY FAILED TO PRESENT THAT NOT-SO-INCONVENIENT FACT TO THE MEDIA THAT BRYON MET WITH HIS KILLER AS HE SET ABOUT TO DISPARAGE THE REPUTATION OF BRYON MACRON, A COMBAT VETERAN OF THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS.

WHAT ABOUT THE WEAPON THAT BRYON USED TO SELF-INFLICT HIS STAB WOUNDS, INCLUDING DEFENSIVE WOUNDS TO HIS LEFT ARM?  PINOCCHIO CENTNER HAS APPARENTLY CONCLUDED THAT BRYON WANTED HIS ALLEGED SELF-INFLICTED WOUNDS TO LOOK REALISTIC BEFORE HE THREW HIMSELF INTO THE LAKE AFTER HE DECEASED.

SILLY ME! THE BLOGGER HAD ALMOST FORGOTTEN THAT SHERIFF'S DE(PEW)TIES FOUND A KNIFE AND A PAIR OF GLOVES AT ONE OF THE BLOODY CRIME SCENES AND PROMPTLY THREW THEM AWAY!

WHO COULD POSSIBLY HAVE ANY REASON TO SUSPECT THAT THE RECOVERY OF A KNIFE AND A PAIR OF GLOVES AT A BLOODY CRIME SCENE WOULD HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH A VIOLENT ASSAULT OR A MURDER?

WHAT A BUNCH OF RANK BUSH LEAGUE AMATEURS!

IF ANY READERS ARE LOOKING TO FIND AN ASSEMBLED GROUP OF COMPLETE F@@CKING IDIOTS, LOOK NO FURTHER. YOUR SEARCH IS OVER.

CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER WANTS YOU, THE READERS, TO BELIEVE THAT BRYON MACRON WAS DESPONDENT OVER AN INSTALLMENT CREDIT CARD DEBT, WHICH WAS "PAID AS AGREED" ACCORDING TO BRYON'S OWN POST MORTEM CREDIT REPORT.  PINOCCHIO FURTHER WANTS YOU TO BELIEVE THAT BRYON WAS SO UPSET THAT HE WAS MEETING HIS MINIMAL CREDIT CARD DEBTS TIMELY THAT HE DECIDED TO TAKE HIS OWN LIFE BY STABBING HIMSELF SO REALISTICALLY AS TO PRESENT WITH DEFENSIVE WOUNDS ON HIS LEFT ARM.  THEN, AFTER STABBING HIMSELF, DROVE OVER TO CHIPPEWA LAKE AND, ALTHOUGH ALREADY DECEASED, 
PARKED HIS CAR AT THE BEACHSIDE PARKING LOT, THEREAFTER EXITING HIS AUTO LEAVING NO BLOOD TRAIL (BRYON WAS, AFTER ALL, DECEASED BY THIS TIME) AND WALKED OUT TO THE CENTER OF THE LAKE AND JUMPED IN.  THE LACK OF ANY FOOTPRINTS OR A BLOOD TRAIL ON THE THIN ICE IS A LITTLE MORE DIFFICULT TO EXPLAIN SO PINOCCHIO CENTER AND DICKLESS TRACY DISMISSED THAT FACT AS AN ANOMALY AND DISMISSED IT JUST LIKE THE KNIFE AND GLOVES FOUND AT ONE OF THE BLOODY CRIME SCENES.

IT APPEARS TO THE BLOGGER THAT PINOCCHIO CENTNER BELIEVES THAT YOU, THE READERS, ARE AS STUPID AS THE "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVES AT THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF 'S OFFICE.

THE BLOGGER DOESN'T THINK SO!

THERE IS AN IRONIC TWIST TO THIS COVERUP THE BLOGGER WILL REVEAL WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT, WHICH IS AFTER BRYON'S KILLER IS BROUGHT BEFORE THE BAR OF JUSTICE AND A REAL AND HONEST JUDGE!


Thursday, July 27, 2017

EXAMINING ONE OF CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER'S DELIBERATE FALSE CLAIMS TO THE NEWS MEDIA

IT IS PERFECTLY CLEAR TO EVEN THE MOST CASUAL OBSERVER THAT MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF'S CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER HAS MADE A NUMBER OF DELIBERATELY FALSE STATEMENTS TO THE NEWS MEDIA IN AN ATTEMPT TO ASSASINATE THE CHARACTER, REPUTATION, AND MEMORY OF THE LATE LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE BRYON MACRON WHO WAS MURDERED ON THE  PREMISES OF THE LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP ADMINISTRATION BUILIDING BY AN ASSAILANT, ALLEGEDLY UNKOWN TO SHERIFF'S LEAD DEFECTTIVE  DICKLESS TRACY,  BETWEEN THE APPROXIMATE HOURS OF 4:30 AM AND 5:00 AM ON THE MORNING OF DECEMBER 16, 2016.  THAT IS A FACT !!!

IT CAN BE REASONABLY DEDUCED THAT CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER, A PENCIL-PUSHING DESK JOCKEY AND BEAN COUNTER SPEAKING ON BEHALF OF THE ENTIRE CADRE OF "SUMMER' S EVE" DEFECTIVES, HAS TRIED TO MISLEAD THE PUBLIC WITH HIS THINLY VEILED ATTEMPT TO CONCEAL THE COVERUP OF THE HOMICIDE OF BRYON MACRON.

IT REMAINS UNKNOWN TO THE BLOGGER WHICH OF THESE COMPLETE IDIOTS, WHETHER PINOCCHIO CENTNER OR  DICKLESS  TRACY,  DECIDED TO MISLEAD THE PUBLIC BY CLAIMING THAT BRYON MACRON HAD BEEN HEAVILY IN DEBT.  ONE THING IS SURE . ONE OF THESE MORONS CLEARLY REACHED AS FAR AS POSSIBLE INTO THE NETHER REGIONS TO PULL THAT FALSE CLAIM DIRECTLY OUT OF HIS ASS  WITHOUT DUE REGARD FOR THE EVIDENCE AND THE FACTS.  SO WHAT ELSE IS NEW?  THEY DO IT ALL THE TIME!

NOW READERS MAY ASK HOW THE BLOGGER COULD KNOW THAT CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER MADE THE DELIBERATELY FALSE CLAIM THAT BRYON MACRON WAS HEAVILY IN DEBT.

THE BLOGGER SIMPLY DID WHAT A COMPTENT INVESTIGATOR WOULD NORMALLY BE EXPECTED TO DO BY CHECKING THE UNASSAILABLE RECORDS, WHICH PINOCCHIO'S TOTALLY INCOMPTENT "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVES FAILED TO DO, ALONG WITH EVERY OTHER THING A CAPABLE INVESTIGATOR MIGHT BE EXPECTED TO DO.

READERS SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS NOT EXACTLY ROCKET SCIENCE.  A LITTLE COMMON SENSE (NOT SO COMMON, IT TURNS OUT, AT THE SHERIFF'S' OFFICE) WILL DO NICELY.

THE BLOGGER SIMPLY REVIEWED BRYON MACRON'S CREDIT REPORT ISSUED IN FEBRUARY 2017. .A THOROUGH AND DILIGENT REVIEW OF EVERY ENTRY ON BRYON'S CREDIT REPORT SHOWED NO SIGNIFICANT DEBT LOAD, CONTRARY TO PINOCCHIO CENTNER'S DELIBERATELY FALSE PUBLIC  STATEMENTS!

READERS SHOULD REMEMBER THAT, UNLIKE PINOCCHIO CENTNER, THE NORMAL COURSE OF BUSINESS RECORDS JUST DO NOT LIE!

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

COVERUP!!!!

REGULAR READERS OF THIS BLOG WILL RECALL THAT A WEEK AGO THE BLOGGER SUGGESTED THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE WAS COVERING UP THE HOMICIDE OF BRYON MACRON AND POSED THE HYPOTHETCAL THAT THEY MAY BE COVERING UP THE FACT THAT ONE OF THEIR OWN (A POLICE WANNABE)  COMMITTED BRYON'S MURDER. THAT HYPOTHESIS SET OFF A FIERCE  REACTION  FROM SHERIFF'S CRAPTAIN DAVID CENTNER, A PENCIL-PUSHING DESK JOCKEY AND  BEAN COUNTER

THE BLOGGER CLEARLY STRUCK A RAW NERVE WITH THAT POST!!!

ON THE MORNING FOLLOWING THAT POST, CRAPTAIN CENTNER, A BALD-FACED LIAR, CALLED MRS. MACRON'S ATTORNEY,  MADE THE TYPICAL FALSE ALLEGATIONS AGAINST THE BLOGGER, AND THEN MADE VEILED THREATS DIRECTED AT THE BLOGGER IN AN UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT TO INTIMIDATE THE BLOGGER INTO BACKING AWAY FROM HIS EFFORTS TO BRING THE OFFENDER WHO MURDERED BRYON MACRON TO JUSTICE.

THE BLOGGER, AN HONORABLY RETIRED AND HIGHLY DECORATED RETIRED FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER,  IS NOT INTIMIDATED BY THREATS FROM A BEAN-COUNTING DESK JOCKEY WHO INFORMED MRS. MACRON'S LEGAL COUNSEL HE IS "KEEPING AN EYE" ON THE BLOGGER.  BETTER HE SHOULD HAVE KEPT AN EYE ON HIS "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVES CHARGED WITH INVESTIGATING THE MURDER OF BRYON MACRON, BUT DID NOT.

THE BLOGGER HAS SPOKEN WITH ENOUGH PEOPLE, SOME OF WHOM MIGHT WELL BE DESCRIBED AS INSIDERS, TO HAVE DRAWN THE CONCLUSION THAT SHERIFF "I DUNNO" MILLER DECIDED FROM THE OUTSET THAT THE MURDER OF BRYON MACRON WAS NOT GOING TO BE SOLVED , COME HELL OR HIGH WATER.  TOO MANY SKELETONS ARE RATTLING AROUND IN THE CLOSETS OF CORRUPT POLITICIANS TO BE RESURRECTED BY A  COMPETENT AND CREDIBLE INVESTIGATION INTO THE DEATH OF AN INNOCENT CITIZEN AND HONEST, DEDICATED PUBLIC SERVANT (AS IF THESE MORONS HAVE ANY CLAIM TO COMPETENCE).

UNLIKE CENTNER, THE SUPERVISOR OF THE SHERIFF'S AND THEREFORE THE CHIEF CHICKENSHIT, THE BLOGGER HAD SUFFICIENT INTESTINAL FORTITUDE (UNLIKE CENTNER) TO CONFRONT THIS CHICKENSHIT ABOUT HIS VEILED THREATS.  DURING THAT CONVERSATION, WHICH CAN HARDLY BE DESCRIBED AS A CORDIAL SOCIAL CALL, THE BLOGGER EXPRESSLY TOLD CENTER THAT HE AND HIS CREW WERE INCAPABLE OF SOLVING THIS CRIME.  CENTNER'S ONLY RESPONSE WAS , YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT WE HAVE OR HAVE NOT DONE IN OUR INVESTIGATION. "WHAT INVESTIGATION???

THE BLOGGER INFORMED CRAPTAIN CENTNER HE KNEW FOR A FACT THAT THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE HAD NOT INTERVIEWED BRYON MACRON'S FAMILY, FRIENDS, OR ASSOCIATES,  NO RESPONSE FROM THE CRAPTAIN!

THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT THE CRAPTAIN ATTEMPTED TO SELL A LOAD OF PURE, UNADULTERED BULLSHIT AT THE "PRESS CONFERENCE."  NOBODY IS BUYING!

THE BLOGGER, WITH MORE THAN 20 YEARS EXPERIENCE INVESTIGATING VIOLENT CRIMES IN HOSTILE, CRIMINAL ENVIRONMENTS, TURNS OUT TO BE THE GADFLY IN THEIR OINTMENT.  THE BLOGGER WILL HAVE TO ADMI, HOWEVR, UNLIKE CRALTAIN CENTNER, THE BLOOGER HAS NEVER BEEN REQUIRED TO MOVE A HERD OF COWS FROM THE HIGHWAY.  THE BLOGGER HAS NO DOUBT THAT BOSSIE THE COW CAN BE AN ORNERY CRITTER!

THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE HAS BEEN DICKING AROUND WITH THIS CASE FOR MORE THAN SEVEN MONTHS AND HAS COME UP WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

CONVERSELY, THE BLOGGER HAS STEPPED OUT OF RETIRMENT TO OFFER HIS EXPERTISE AND EXPERIENCE TO THE MACRON FAMILY, AT NO COST TO THE FAMILY OR TO TAXPAYERS, TO RESOLVE THIS CASE AND TO BRING THE OFFENDER TO JUSTICE.

WHILE THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE HAS BEEN DICKING AROUND FOR MORE THAN SEVEN MONTHS WITH NO RESULTS, IT HAS TAKEN THE BLOGGER ABOUT THREE WEEKS TO INTERVIEW MACRON FAMILY MEMBERS AND REVIEW CERTAIN RECORDS.  AFTER NO MORE THAN THREE WEEKS OF COMPTENT INVESTIGATIVE EFFORT, WITH NO SMALL LEVEL OF ASSISTANCE FROM MRS MACRON AND HER SISTER WHO HAVE CONDUCTED THEIR OWN INVESTIGATION FAR SUPERIOR TO THE IMPOTENT EFFORTS OF THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE, THE BLOGGER HAS BROUGHT THE HOMICIDE SHARPLY INTO FOCUS!  THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO QUESTION THAT BRYON MACRON WAS THE VICTIM OF A HOMICIDE AS MUCH AS THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF WOULD LIKE TO SWEEP THIS MATTER UNDER THE RUG FOR PETTY POLITICAL CONSIDERATIONS.

LET'S EXAMINE SOME OF CRAPTAIN CENTNER' BULLSHIT CLAIMS:

1) BRYON MACRON IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS OWN DEATH.  THIS CLAIM IS PURE BULLSHIT AND DEFIES THE DESCRIPTION OF STUPIDITY INVOLVED IN ARRIVING AT THIS CONCLUSION.  BRYON WAS MURDERED,  PLAIN AND SIMPLE!  YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO BE A BRAIN SURGEON TO COME TO THAT CONCLUSION!

2). BRYON WAS HEAVILY IN DEBT.  ANOTHER LOAD OF BULLSHIT! AN OUTSTANDING INSTALLMENT CREDIT CARD ACCOUNT CAN HARDLY BE DESCRIBED AS  " HEAVILY IN DEBT."

3). THERE WERE "DRUGS" FOUND IN BRYON'S BLOODSTREAM ACCORDING TO TOXICOLOGY REPORTS.  ANOTHER BOGUS CLAIM INTENDED TO DEFAME BRYON'S REPUTATION AND MEMORY, MADE IN AN UNCONSCIONABLE ATTEMPT TO COVER UP THE CONCEALMENT OF THE TRUE FACTS OF BRYON'S MURDER.  ANY CHEMICAL COMPINDS FOUND IN BRYON'S BODY ARE THE BY-PRODUCT OF NORMAL DECOMPOSITION.  NO MYSTERY THER, MUCH A CENTNER WOULD HAVE THE PUBLIC BELIEVE OTHERWISE!  THIS JUST MOTE BULKSHIT IN AN ATTEMPT TO CONCEAL THEIR OWN COMPLETE INCOMPETENCE, PERHAPS EVEN DELIBERATE INCOMPETENCE.

4).  BRYON WAS INVOLVED IN ACTIVITIES UNKNOWN TO HIS FAMILY.  THIS IS MORE TOTAL BULLSHIT.  LIKE MOST OF THEIR UNFOUNDED CLAIMS, LIKE BRYON FLEW TO CALIFORNIA. SHERIFF'S PERSONNEL HAVE PULLED THIS ONE OUT OF THEIR COLLECTIVE ASS!  THE BLOGGER IS AWARE OF THE SUBSTANCE OF THIS CLAIM AND HAS RUN IT DOWN TO GROUND ONLY TO FIND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO MERIT TO THAT CLAIM.

THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT THE BLOGGER IS WELL ON HIS WAY TO SOLVING THE HOMICIDE OF BRYON MACRON.  THE FINAL RESULTS OF THE BLOGGER'S COMPETENT AND THOROUGH INVESTIGATION WILL GO TO MRS. MACRON'S LEGAL COUNSEL WHO CAN DEAL WITH THESE MEDINA COUNTY MORONS . IT IS BENEATH THE BLOGGER'S DIGNITY TO DEAL WITH THESE RANK  BUSH LEAGUE AMATEURS!