ERIC WARFEL CAN KISS HIS ASS GOODBYE!

ACCORDING TO NEWS REPORTS, THE TRIAL OF ERIC WARFEL HAS BEGUN BEFORE ILLEGITIMATE "jUDGE WEASELPECKER" COLLIER OVER AT THE MEDINA COUNTY COURTHOUSE, MOSQUE, BROTHEL, & RAILROAD STATION.

YOU CAN BET THE DYNAMIC DUO OF "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER AND CORRUPT MEDINA COUNTY PROSECUTOR DINO HOE-MAN (WITH EMPHASIS ON "HOE") THE "GODFATHER" OF MEDINA ORGANIZED CRIME AND HIS VERY OWN CRIME SYNDICATE, THE MEDINA MOB.

REGULAR READERS OF THIS BLOG WILL RECALL THAT WARFEL, AT LEAST ACCORDING "GODFATHER " HOE-MAN, MURDERED HIS THREE YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER AND THEN BURIED HER UNDER A PILE OF GARBAGE, STILL IN HER CRIB, TO MASK THE ODOR OF DECOMPOSITION. ALL THE WHILE, ACCORDING TO HOE-MAN, WARFEL WAS "HIDING OUT" WITH ANOTHER CHILD AT THE LOCAL BURGER KING, DOING COCAINE ALL THE WHILE.

AT LEAST, THAT WAS THE STORY THAT HOE-MAN GAVE TO MEDINA CASSETTE CUB REPORTER NICK GRUNT, WHO WASTED NO TIME RUSHING THAT "STORY" INTO PRINT.

SUBSEQUENTLY, CUB REPORTER NICK GRUNT IS REPORTED TO HAVE LEFT THE EMPLOY OF THE MEDINA GASSETTE FOR BRIGHTER EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY AT THE AKRON BEACON JOURNAL, WHERE HE WAS PROMOTED AND GIVEN A HOUSE-TO-HOUSE NEWSPAPER DELIVERY ROUTE IN AKRON'S NORTH HILL NEIGHBORHOOD.

IN THE MEAN WHILE, CORRUPT MEDINA COUNTY PROSECUTOR DINO HOE-MAN HAS BEEN COMPLETELY DISCREDITED.  IT TURNS OUT THAT THE "STORY" HE FED TO CUB REPORTER NICK GRUNT, WHO GOBBLED IT UP LIKE A HUNGRY SOW, WAS COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT!!!

HOE-MAN'S UNLAWFUL OBJECTIVE IN LYING TO GRUNT WAS SIMPLY, AS ALWAYS, TO POISON THE JURY POOL BEFORE TRIAL SO THAT POTENTIAL JURORS WOULD BE INFECTED AND PREJUDICED BY HOE-MAN'S LINE OF BULLSHIT, EFFECTIVELY FINDING WARFEL "GUILTY" WELL BEFORE TRIAL.

NO ONE CAN DENY THAT HOE-MAN IS A GENUINE, DOWN-AND-DIRTY, LOW-LIFE  SCUMBAG OF THE LOWEST ORDER!

GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES, MR. WARFEL MADE THE FATAL ERROR TO ELECT A BENCH TRIAL BEFORE HOE-MAN'S VERY OWN PERSONAL LAPDOG, ILLEGITIMATE MEDINA COUNTY "jUDGE WEASELPECKER" COLLIER,  ANOTHER LOCAL  STUPID CRIMINAL AND MEMBER OF HOE-MAN'S MEDINA MOB.  THAT, OF COURSE, IS ANOTHER STORY.

A SHORT TELEVISION NEWS CLIP DEPICTED HOE-MAN BLOVIATING BEFORE "WEASELPECKER" IN KANGAROO COURTROOM #1.

GIVEN THE FACT THAT "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER REMAINS IN HOE-MAN'S HIP POCKET, ESSENTIALLY HOE-MAN'S PERSONAL PROPERTY, READERS CAN BE SURE THAT A SNOWBALL HAS A BETTER CHANCE OF SURVIVING IN HELL THAN DOES WARFEL HAVE TO RECEIVE A FAIR TRIAL!

ANY NOTES THAT "WEASELPECKER" MAY MAKE DURING THE KANGAROO TRIAL OF ERIC WARFEL ARE SIMPLY MARKERS TO DIRECT "WEASELPECKER" TO LOCATIONS IN THE "OFFICIAL" TRANSCRIPT" WHERE HE CAN MAKE HIS USUAL AND CUSTOMARY UNLAWFUL ALTERATIONS TO THE TRANSCRIPT.

GIVEN ALL OF THESE CIRCUMSTANCES, ERIC WARFEL MIGHT JUST AS WELL KISS HIS ASS GOODBYE, SKIP THE UNFAIR TRIAL PHASE, AND PROCEED DIRECTLY TO SENTENCING, WHERE "WEASELPECKER" WILL IMPOSE THE SENTENCE DICTATED TO HIM BY HOE-MAN !