THE LABOR DAY WEEKEND IS UPON US. IT IS TIME, ONCE AGAIN, FOR THE MEDINA COUNTY MEMORIAL GOLF OUTING, IN REMEMBRANCE OF ALL THOSE CROOKED MEDINA COUNTY POLITICIANS WHO HAVE GONE BEFORE THE CURRENT CROP OF CROOKED MEDINA COUNTY "PUBLIC SERVANTS."
THE WEATHER PROMISES TO BE PERFECT FOR A ROUND OR TWO OF GOLF FOR "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER, PAID FOR, OF COURSE, BY CERTAIN OF HIS FAVORITE JAGOFFS OVER AT THE MEDINA COUNTY BAR & PICKPOCKET ASSN. THIS SELECT GROUP OF JAGOFF ATTORNEYS HAS LEARNED FROM CORRUPT MEDINA PROSECUTOR DINO HOE-MAN (WITH EMPHASIS ON "HOE"), THE "GODFATHER" OF MEDINA ORGANIZED CRIME, THAT IT IS HANDY TO HAVE A CORRUPT JUDGE LIKE "WEASEKPECKER" COLLIER IN YOUR POCKET. YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THE OPPORTUNITY ARISES TO ROB A GRAVE AND RAPE AND PILLAGE AN ESTATE OF THE DECEASED.
"WEASELPECKER" COLLIER HAS BEEN WISHING FOR A SUNNY WEEKEND. HE HAS TOLD HIS CONFIDANTS, "I HATE TO GOLF WITH WET BALLS!"
"WEASELPECKER" WENT ON TO EXPLAIN THAT RAINY DAYS PLAY HAVOC WITH HIS BALLS AND , THEREFORE, HIS GOLF GAME. SAID COLLIER, " NO MATTER WHAT PRECAUTIONS I TAKE, WHEN IT'S RAINING MY BALLS ALWAYS GET WET. WHETHER I AM WEARING A RAIN SLICKER AND RIDING IN A GOLF CART, MY BALLS GET WET. IN FACT, EVEN WHEN I KEEP MY HANDS IN MY POCKETS, MY BALLS STILL GET WET!"
"WEASELPECKER" WENT ON TO EXPLAIN, "WITH WET BALLS, I HAVE TROUBLE ADJUSTING MY STANCE AND TAKING A GOOD STROKE. EVEN WITH MY COURT REPORTER (WITH BENEFITS) DONNA GARRITY FONDLING MY BALLS BETWEEN HOLES, IT IS STILL A PROBLEM."
"WEALPECKER" COLLIER CONCLUDED THAT THE ONLY SAVING GRACE AT THE END OF A STRENUOUS ROUND OF GOLF, "MY COURT REPORTER IS ALWAYS THERE TO GENTLY WASH AND DRY MY BALLS!"
GOLF ON, "WEASELPECKER! " GOLF ON!
No comments:
Post a Comment