PINOCCHIO CENTNER CELEBRATES THE ECLIPSE FROM THE PARKING LOT AT PETTICOAT JUNCTION !!!!

MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF'S CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER REPORTED TO HIS DESK JOB WITH GUSTO THIS MORNING.  

AFTER SHARPENING ANOTHER TWO DOZEN PENCILS, PINOCCHIO CENTNER MADE IMMEDIATE PREPARATIONS TO CELEBRATE THE MUCH HERALDED ECLIPSE.

INITIALLY, CENTNER DONNED HIS COMMAND PARADE UNIFORM, SHOWN BELOW, A DISPLAY OF SIMULATED TESTOSTERONE!

RECENT NEWS REPORTING HAS ABOUNDED WITH CAUTIONARY WARNINGS ABOUT LOOKING DIRECTLY AT THE SUN DURING THE ECLIPSE, WHICH MAY BE JUST ONE MORE SECONDARY HAZARD CAUSING CENTNER TO GO BLIND!

CENTNER, OF COURSE, HAS TAKEN ALL OF THE NECESSARY PRECAUTIONS.  IN THE FIRST INSTANCE, HE HAS SET ASIDE HIS NORMAL DESK JOCKEY EYEWEAR.

CENTNER HAS THEN OUTFITTED HIMSELF WITH THE OFFICIAL ECLIPSE-VIEWING SPECIALTY GLASSES, APPROVED BY NASA.

ONCE HE WAS PROPERLY ATTIRED, CENTNER MOUNTED HIS BEAN COUNTER TRANSPORT VEHICLE, WITH EXTRA-SOFT PLUSH SEATING, AND FOUND HIMSELF THE OPTIMAL SPOT IN THE PARKING LOT AT PETTICOAT JUNCTION WITH AN UNOBSTRUCTED VIEW OF THE IMPENDING ECLIPSE!

 WHEN THE ECLIPSE WAS FINALLY OVER, PINOCCHIO CENTNER WAS HEARD TO REMARK, "I HAVEN'T HAD THIS MUCH FUN SINCE I PRACTICED MY COMEDY ROUTINE AT THE PRESS CONFERENCE ANNOUNCING THE RELEASE OF BRYON MACRON'S AUTOPSY REPORT!"

THE BLOGGER BELIEVES ALL THE FUSS OVER THIS ECLIPSE AT PETTICOAT JUNCTION IS REALLY NOTHING MORE THAN MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING.  AFTER ALL, THESE MORONS ARE ALL WANDERING AROUND IN THE DARK ENDLESSLY, IMPROPERLY DISPOSING OF EVIDENCE AND IGNORING THE FACTS!