FEDERAL GRAND JURORS FOR A DAY !

THE BLOGGER HAS DECIDED TO PRESENT CERTAIN FACTS TO YOU, THE READERS, AND TO PERMIT YOU TO SIT AS JURORS FOR A DAY ON AN IMAGINARY FEDERAL GRAND JURY PANEL.

AS GRAND JURORS FOR A DAY, YOU WILL HAVE TO CONSIDER THE FACTS AND APPLY THEM TO THE LAW, ULTIMATELY DECIDING WHETHER MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF "I DUNNO" MILLER, CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO "DESK JOCKEY" CENTNER,  AND MILLER'S COVEY OF "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVES SHOULD STAND TRIAL IN UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR HONEST SERVICES FRAUD IN VIOLATION OF TITLE 18, UNITED STATES CODE, SECTIONS 1343 & 1346.

THE FEDERAL LAW

18 U.S.C. § 1343 - U.S. Code - Unannotated Title 18. Crimes and Criminal Procedure § 1343. Fraud by wire, radio, or television

Whoever, having devised or intending to devise any scheme or artifice to defraud, or for obtaining money or property by means of false or fraudulent pretenses, representations, or promises, transmits or causes to be transmitted by means of wire, radio, or television communication in interstate or foreign commerce, any writings, signs, signals, pictures, or sounds for the purpose of executing such scheme or artifice, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than 20 years, or both.  If the violation occurs in relation to, or involving any benefit authorized, transported, transmitted, transferred, disbursed, or paid in connection with, a presidentially declared major disaster or emergency (as those terms are defined in section 102 of the Robert T. Stafford Disaster Relief and Emergency Assistance Act (42 U.S.C. 5122)), or affects a financial institution, such person shall be fined not more than $1,000,000 or imprisoned not more than 30 years, or both.

18 U.S. Code § 1346 - Definition of “scheme or artifice to defraud”

For the purposes of this chapter, the term “scheme or artifice to defraud” includes a scheme or artifice to deprive another of the intangible right of honest services.
(Added Pub. L. 100–690, title VII, § 7603(a), Nov. 18, 1988, 102 Stat. 4508.)

THE ULTIMATE ISSUE UNDER FEDERAL LAW

THE ULTIMATE QUESTION BEFORE YOU, FEDERAL GRAND JURORS FOR THE DAY, IS WHETHER MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF "I DUNNO" MILLER, CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO "DESK JOCKEY" CENTNER,  AND MILLER'S COVEY OF "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVES HAVE RECEIVED COMPENSATION FROM TAXPAYERS FOR CONDUCTING A THOROUGH AND COMPETENT INVESTIGATION OF THE HOMICIDE OF LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE BRYON MACRON, AND WHETHER, THROUGH A LACK OF DUE DILIGENCE, THEY HAVE DEPRIVED THE MACRON FAMILY AND, IN FACT, ALL OF THE CITIZENS OF MEDINA COUNTY OF HONEST SERVICES THAT MIGHT ORDINARILY BE EXPECTED OF SIMILARLY SITUATED INDIVIDUALS, SUCH AS REAL POLICE LIKE THE HOMICIDE INVESTIGATORS IN THE EMPLOY OF THE CLEVELAND POLICE DEPARTMENT ?

IF YOU, THE FEDERAL GRAND JURORS, ANSWER "YES," TO THE ABOVE QUESTION, YOU SHOULD VOTE TO RETURN A FEDERAL INDICTMENT CHARGING MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF "I DUNNO" MILLER, CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO "DESK JOCKEY" CENTNER,  AND MILLER'S COVEY OF "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVES WITH HONEST SERVICES FRAUD, IN VIOLATION OF TITLE 18, STATES CODE, SECTIONS 1341 & 1346.  THE RETURN OF A FEDERAL INDICTMENT WILL COMPEL THEM TO STAND TRIAL IN THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE CHARGED OFFENSE(S).

THE FACTS

BRYON MACRON "DISAPPEARED" UNDER "MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES" FROM THE PREMISES OF THE LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP ADMINISTRATION BUILDING DURING THE MORNING HOURS OF DECEMBER 16, 2016.  THE BLOODY SCENE WAS DISCOVERED BY LAFAYETTE SERVICE DIRECTOR RICHARD EVANS WHO MADE CERTAIN NOTIFICATIONS.

LATER ON DECEMBER 16, 2016, BRYON MACRON'S AUTO, PRESENTING EVIDENCE OF BLOOD, WAS LOCATED IN THE BEACHSIDE BLVD. PARKING AREA AT CHIPPEWA LAKE WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF ONSTAR.

ONE OF THE SHERIFF'S DE(PEW)TIES SEARCHED THE ABANDONED AUTO AND FOUND A KNIFE AND A PAIR OF GLOVES BENEATH THE SEAT OF MR. MACRON'S AUTO.  IN ACCORD WITH THE SHERIFF'S EVIDENCE PROTOCOL, THE UNNAMED DE(PEW)TY PROMPTLY THREW THE KNIFE AND GLOVES INTO A DUMPSTER. THIS MORON IS NEXT IN LINE FOR PINOCCHIO CENTNER'S POSITION WHEN CENTNER RETIRES FROM HIS POSITION AS THE SOCIAL MEDIA MONITOR AT THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE.

ASIDE FROM BLOOD WITHIN MR. MACRON'S AUTO, NO FOOTSTEPS OR BLOOD TRAIL WERE FOUND EXITING AND PROCEEDING AWAY FROM THE AUTO.

THE SHERIFF'S "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVES, WHO HAVE LIKELY NEVER BEFORE ENCOUNTERED A HOMICIDE SCENE LACKING A BODY, CONCLUDED THAT THE BLOODY SCENE AT THE LAFAYETTE ADMIN BUILDING HAD BEEN "STAGED" AND REPORTED TO THE MEDIA THAT BRYON MACRON HAD FLED AND ASSUMED A NEW LIFE IN CALIFORNIA.

REPORTED AT WKYC. COM AT http://www.wkyc.com/news/local/medina-county/plot-thickens-in-case-of-missing-medina-county-man/376895914

"Some investigators believe he left to start a new life in California."

ON FEBRUARY 21, 2017, THE MORTAL REMAINS OF BRYON MACRON WERE RECOVERED FROM THE WATERS OF CHIPPEWA LAKE DEFEATING UNSUPPORTED CLAIMS FROM THE SHERIFF'S "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVES THAT MR. MACRON HAD BEEN ALL THE WHILE SURFING ON CALIFORNIA'S PACIFIC COAST.

WKYC SUED MEDINA COUNTY FOR A REVIEW OF THE PRELIMINARY AUTOPSY REPORT THAT COUNTY "OFFICIALS" REFUSED TO DISCLOSE TO MR. MACRON'S WIFE.  PRELIMINARY AUTOPSY RESULTS DISCLOSED NO WATER IN MR. MACRON'S AIRWAY AND LUNGS, AND A NUMBER OF STAB WOUNDS INFLICTED UPON MR, MACRON ABOUT THE FACE, NECK, SHOULDERS, AND ARMS.

THE FAILURE TO SEARCH FOR BRYON MACRON ON THE DATE OF HIS REPORTED "DISAPPEARANCE" AND AFTER

THE AVERAGE CITIZEN MIGHT REASONABLY EXPECT LAW ENFORCEMENT TO ORGANIZE A SEARCH FOR A PERSON MISSING UNDER MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES.

NOT ONLY DID THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE FAIL TO ORGANIZE AND CONDUCT A SEARCH FOR BRYON, THEY IMPEDED OTHER QUALIFIED INDIVIDUALS FROM DOING SO! 

THE BLOGGER HAS RECEIVED A REPORT THAT A HIGHWAY PATROL PILOT OVERFLYING CHIPPEWA LAKE ON DECEMBER 16, 2016 WAS ASTOUNDED BY THE LACK OF A SEARCH PARTY AT AND AROUND CHIPPEWA LAKE, EVEN A STATE TROOPER, WHOSE PRIMARY JOB OBJECTIVE IS TO ENFORCE TRAFFIC LAWS, RECOGNIZED THIS OBVIOUS FAILURE TO TAKE ANY ACTION TO SEARCH FOR BRYON MACRON ON THE DATE OF HIS "DISAPPEARANCE."

IN THE FIRST INSTANCE, LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP FIRE SERVICE PERSONNEL WERE PREPARED TO SEARCH THE OPEN WATERS OF CHIPPEWA LAKE FOR BRYON MACRON.
SHERIFF'S PERSONNEL BARRED THE LAFAYETTE FIRE CHIEF FROM SEARCHING THE WATERS OF CHIPPEWA LAKE FOR BRYON MACRON ON DECEMBER 16, 2016, THE DATE OF MR. MACRON'S DISAPPEARANCE.

DO YOU, THE GRAND JURORS, BELIEVE THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF FAILED TO DELIVER HONEST SERVICES TO THE MACRON FAMILY AND THE CITIZENS OF MEDINA COUNTY BY BARRING LAFAYETTE FIRE SERVICE FIRE PERSONNEL FROM SEARCHING THE OPEN WATERS OF CHIPPEWA LAKE FOR BRYON MACRON ON THE DATE OF HIS REPORTED DISAPPEARANCE ?

THIS OBSTRUCTION OF ATTEMPTS TO LOCATE BRYON MACRON WAS JUST THE FIRST OF A SERIES OF EVENTS INTENDED TO PREVENT THE LOCATION AND RECOVERY OF MR. MACRON'S MORTAL REMAINS BY THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF!

AMERICAN WARRIOR ALLIANCE, MISSING WARRIORS SEARCH OF WASHINGTON, D.C. OFFERED TO SEND A HIGHLY TRAINED CANINE AND EXPERT HANDLER TO SEARCH FOR BRYON MACRON  AFTER HE WENT "MISSING."  THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE REFUSED THEIR OFFER OF ASSISTANCE.

RESCUE 101 SEARCH & RESCUE, JOHNSTOWN, OHIO PREPARED TO SEND A NUMBER OF TRAINED CANINES AND SEARCH PERSONNEL TO SEARCH FOR BRYON MACRON AFTER HE WENT "MISSING."  THE ORGANIZATION PLACED TWO TELEPHONE CALLS TO THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE TO OFFER THEIR EXPERT ASSISTANCE.  THOSE PHONE CALLS WERE NOT RETURNED.  EVENTUALLY, ON DECEMBER 31, 2016 (NEW YEAR'S EVE) THE ORGANIZATION PLACED A THIRD TELEPHONE CALL TO THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE TO ADVISE THEIR PERSONNEL WERE LEAVING FOR MEDINA COUNTY. THIS THIRD PHONE CALL DREW A RESPONSE FROM SHERIFF'S PERSONNEL WHO ADVISED THAT THEY WERE NOT WELCOME IN MEDINA COUNTY AND TO NOT COME.

DO YOU, THE GRAND JURORS, BELIEVE THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF FAILED TO DELIVER HONEST SERVICES TO THE MACRON FAMILY AND THE CITIZENS OF MEDINA COUNTY BY REFUSING EXPERT SEARCH ASSISTANCE FROM THE AMERICAN WARRIOR ALLIANCE AND RESCUE 101 SEARCH & RESCUE WHEN THE MORTAL REMAINS OF BRYON MACRON HAD NOT YET BEEN RECOVERED?

A MACRON FAMILY FRIEND OFFERED TO PROVIDE THE SERVICES OF AN INDIVIDUAL WHO WAS PREPARED TO SEARCH CHIPPEWA LAKE WITH SIDE SCAN SONAR IN AN ATTEMPT TO LOCATE THE MORTAL REMAINS OF BRYON MACRON IN THE WATERS OF CHIPPEWA LAKE.  ONCE AGAIN, THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE BARRED THE SEARCH AS UNWELCOME!

DO YOU, THE GRAND JURORS, BELIEVE THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF FAILED TO DELIVER HONEST SERVICES TO THE MACRON FAMILY AND THE CITIZENS OF MEDINA COUNTY BY REFUSING EXPERT SEARCH ASSISTANCE FROM AN INDIVIDUAL WHO OFFERED TO SEARCH THE WATERS OF CHIPPEWA LAKE FOR THE MORTAL REMAINS OF BRYON MACRON ?

THE SLIPSHOD PURPORTED "INVESTIGATION" OF THE HOMICIDE OF BRYON MACRON

AS AN INITIAL MATTER, READERS SHOULD BE INFORMED THAT THE SHERIFF, OR HIS DESIGNEE, ASSIGNED "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVE DICKLESS TRACY TO "LEAD" THE NON-EFFORT INTO THE HOMICIDE OF BRYON MACRON THAT THE SHERIFF'S PRINCIPAL BEAN COUNTER, CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO "DESK JOCKEY" CENTNER HAS UNSUCCESSFULLY ATTEMPTED TO PASS OFF AS AN "INVESTIGATION."

GIVEN THE FACT THAT DICKLESS TRACY HAS DONE LITTLE OR NOTHING TO RESOLVE THE HOMICIDE OF BRYON MACRON, THE MOST REASONABLE APPROACH AT THE MOMENT IS TO LOOK AT JUST WHAT DICKLESS TRACY HAS NOT DONE TO SOLVE THIS HOMICIDE.

DICKLESS TRACY AND THE COVEY OF OTHER OF THE SHERIFF'S "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVE FAILED TO INTERVIEW BRYON MACRON'S WIFE, AT ANY TIME, UP TO AND INCLUDING THE PRESENT DATE.  MOREOVER, THIS SAME GROUP OF DEFECTIVES FAILED TO INTERVIEW ANY OTHER MACRON FAMILY MEMBERS OR ANY OF BRYON'S FRIENDS AND ASSOCIATES,  AT LEAST NONE OF BRYON'S FRIENDS AND ASSOCIATES WHOM THE BLOGGER HAS INTERVIEWED.

DO YOU, THE GRAND JURORS, BELIEVE THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF FAILED TO DELIVER HONEST SERVICES TO THE MACRON FAMILY AND THE CITIZENS OF MEDINA COUNTY BY FAILING TO INTERVIEW THE WIFE, OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS, AND FRIENDS OR ASSOCIATES OF BRYON MACRON WHEN HE FIRST DISAPPEARED AND FAILED TO INQUIRE AS TO WHAT MAY HAVE BEEN GOING ON IN BRYON'S LIFE THAT MAY HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO HIS "DISAPPEARANCE" AND MURDER?

THE BLOGGER PRESENTED A SURE-FIRE ROAD MAP TO THESE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF'S DEFECTIVES BY DOING NO MORE THAN IDENTIFYING THE CELL PHONE PINGS FROM THE SAME CELL TOWER(S) THAT BRYON'S CELL PHONE HAD BEEN PINGING.

SEE PRIOR POST AT THIS BLOG CAPTIONED HERE'S A ROAD MAP TO SOLVE THE HOMICIDE OF LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE BRYON MACRON easily found at http://medinacorruption.blogspot.com/2017/05/heres-road-map-to-solve-homicide-of.html

THESE "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVES FAILED TO FOLLOW AND TAKE THE EASIEST ROUTE TO SOLVING THE HOMICIDE OF BRYON MACRON. TOO MUCH WORK AND INTERFERES WITH DONUT RUNS!  INSTEAD, THESE MEDINA MORONS CHOSE TO FORGO ANY REAL INVESTIGATIVE WORK AND CHOSE TO TAKE THE EASIEST ROUTE OUT OF THIS CONUNDRUM BY SIMPLY DECLARING BRYON MACRON TOOK HIS OWN LIFE AND SWEEPING BRYON MACRON'S HOMICIDE UNDER THE RUG ! THAT IS BOTH PATHETIC AND SHOCKING TO REALIZE THE MURDER OF AN INNOCENT PUBLIC SERVANT IS SO EASILY DISMISSED AS A NON-EVENT!

DO YOU, THE GRAND JURORS, BELIEVE THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF FAILED TO DELIVER HONEST SERVICES TO THE MACRON FAMILY AND THE CITIZENS OF MEDINA COUNTY BY FAILING TO OBTAIN THE CELL PHONE PINGS OF THE HOMICIDE SUSPECT FROM CELL TOWER PROVIDERS AND CORRELATE THEM TO THE EXTENT THAT WOULD PERMIT IDENTIFICATION OF THE PSYCHOPATH WHO MURDERED BRYON MACRON ?

MEDIA REPORTS INDICATE DICKLESS TRACY TOOK DNA SPECIMENS FROM LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP EMPLOYEES, AND THAT ONLY FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION. WHAT THE MEDIA HAS NOT REPORTED IS THAT DICKLESS TRACY DID NOT TAKE DNA SPECIMENS FROM ALL LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP EMPLOYEES AND PERSONNEL.

MOREOVER THE MEDIA HAS NOT REPORTED  THAT DICKLESS TRACY FAILED TO CHANGE HIS STERILE GLOVES BETWEEN EACH SPECIMEN THUS CROSS-CONTAMINATING EACH AND EVERY DNA SPECIMEN HE TOOK,  RENDERING THEM ALL USELESS !

DO YOU, THE GRAND JURORS, BELIEVE THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF FAILED TO DELIVER HONEST SERVICES TO THE MACRON FAMILY AND THE CITIZENS OF MEDINA COUNTY BY CROSS-CONTAMINATING DNA SPECIMENS TAKEN FROM LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP EMPLOYEES AND PERSONNEL AND BY FURTHER FAILING TO PROPERLY TAKE SUBSEQUENT UNCONTAMINATED DNA SAMPLES FROM THOSE SAME INDIVIDUALS; AND BY ULTIMATELY FAILING TO COMPARE ANY AND ALL DNA SPECIMENS RECOVERED FROM THE CRIME SCENE(S) WITH KNOWN DNA SEQUENCES OF LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP EMPLOYEES AND PERSONNEL ?

ON THE ULTIMATE ISSUE

WHILE THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT REQUIRED TO PRESENT ALL OF ITS EVIDENCE TO YOU, THE GRAND JURORS, THE GOVERNMENT MUST PRESENT SUFFICIENT EVIDENCE TO CONVINCE YOU THAT A FEDERAL CRIME HAS PROBABLY BEEN COMMITTED AND THE NAMED PERSONS PROBABLY COMMITTED THE OFFENSE.

DO YOU, FEDERAL GRAND JURORS FOR THE DAY, FIND THAT MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF "I DUNNO" MILLER, CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO "DESK JOCKEY" CENTNER,  AND MILLER'S COVEY OF "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVES DEPRIVED BRYON MACRON, THE MACRON FAMILY, AND THE CITIZENS OF MEDINA COUNTY WITH HONEST SERVICES WHILE RECEIVING PAYROLL PAYMENTS DERIVED FROM TAXPAYERS, PAID IN EXCHANGE FOR HONEST SERVICES, IN VIOLATION OF TITLE 18, UNITED STATES CODE, SECTIONS 1343 & 1346.

HOW SAY YOU?

A CRITICAL ANALYSIS OF THE HOMICIDE OF LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE BRYON MACRON FROM MEDIA REPORTING!

THIS IS A GOOD OPPORTUNITY TO REVIEW THE "NEWS" COVERAGE PERTAINING TO THE OBVIOUS HOMICIDE OF LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE BRYON MACRON, WHO DID NOT FLEE TO CALIFORNIA AS "SOME ["SUMMER'S EVE"] INVESTIGATORS BELIEVE."

IN ONE HYPOCRITICAL SELF-SERVING PUBLISHED COMMENT THAT LYNDA BOWERS RELEASED TO THE NEWS MEDIA, SHOWN BELOW, BOWERS MADE TO FOLLOWING UNSUPPORTED CLAIM:

"However, amid rumors and growing social media speculation we believe our residents deserve a higher level of communication.”

PURELY UNADULTERATED BULLSHIT!

THAT ALLEGED "HIGHER LEVEL OF COMMUNICATION" DOES NOT EXTEND TO A COMPETENT INVESTIGATION INTO THE HOMICIDE OF BRYON MACRON!

 BOWERS  AND HER CONTINGENT OF FAITHFUL FOLLOWERS IN LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP HAVE REFUSED TO COOPERATE WITH INDEPENDENT AND HONEST INVESTIGATION OF THE HOMICIDE OF THE LATE BRYON MACRON, EVEN AS THE PSYCHOPATH WHO MURDERED BRYON MACRON WALKS FREELY AMONG THEM AND THE RESIDENTS OF LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP.  ADDING INSULT TO INJURY, THE COMEDY DUO OF BOWERS AND COSTELLO OBVIOUSLY ENDORSE THE COVERUP OF THE MURDER OF BRYON MACRON BY MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF "I DUNNO" MILLER AND HIS CHIEF SPOKESMAN AND BEAN COUNTER, CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO "DESK JOCKEY" CENTNER.

TO DEMONSTRATE HOW SHARP CENTNER IS, AT THE "PRESS CONFERENCE" ANNOUNCING THE CORONER'S RULING AS TO THE CAUSE AND MANNER OF BRYON MACRON'S DEATH ("UNDETERMINED" AND "UNDETERMINED") PINOCCHIO CENTNER MADE MORE THAN ONE CONFLICTING AND PREPOSTEROUS STATEMENT.

AMONG THE MORE ASTOUNDING STATEMENTS MADE BY PINOCCHIO CENTNER WAS THAT, ON THE ONE HAND, "NO OTHER PERSON WAS INVOLVED IN MR. MACRON'S DEATH," WHILE, ON THE OTHER HAND, CENTNER CLAIMED THIS CASE REMAINS "ACTIVE AND OPEN."

PINOCCHIO CENTNER STEPPED ON HIS FORESKIN WITH THOSE COMMENTS!

WHY WOULD CENTNER'S "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVES CONTINUE TO "INVESTIGATE" A MATTER THEY DEEMED TO BE A "SUICIDE" AS EARLY AS DECEMBER 16, 2016, THE DATE ON WHICH BRYON MACRON WAS REPORTED "MISSING." 

NO ONE IS BUYING THAT BULLSHIT AT ALL!  

NO ONE BELIEVES THAT BRYON MACRON COMMITTED SUICIDE AND NO ONE BELIEVES THAT THE SHERIFF CONDUCTED ANY COMPETENT INVESTIGATION INTO BRYON'S HOMICIDE!

SHERIFF "I DUNNO" MILLER DECIDED TO COVER UP BRYON MACRON'S HOMICIDE FROM THE OUTSET!

PUBLISHED ONLINE AT FOX8 NEWS WEBSITE ON FEBRUARY 23, 2017, FOUND AT http://fox8.com/2017/02/23/lafayette-township-trustees-our-hearts-are-broken-over-death-of-bryon-macron/

"Medina County Coroner Dr. Lisa Deranek said a preliminary autopsy is complete, but toxicology results will take another two to three weeks. She said it was very difficult to determine how long Macron's body was in the water."

CLEVELAND.COM REPORTS:

"The preliminary autopsy report reviewed Thursday by cleveland.com also revealed that Macron had no water or foreign materials in his airways meaning he likely wasn't breathing before his body went into the water."

FOUND ONLINE AT http://www.cleveland.com/medina/index.ssf/2017/04/six_stab_wounds_deepen_the_mys.html 


PUBLISHED COMMENT BY LINDA BOWERS:

“Similarly, there is no evidence to support the rumor that the Nexus project is in any way connected to Bryon’s disappearance. Since Bryon went missing on the morning of December 16, we have respected the request of law enforcement to refrain from comment on the Macron case. 
However, amid rumors and growing social media speculation we believe our residents deserve a higher level of communication.”

FOUND AT FOX8 NEWS WEBSITE http://fox8.com/2017/01/05/lafayette-trustees-speak-out-urge-anyone-with-info-on-missing-trustee-to-call-police/

“The rumor that township funds are missing is false,” the letter states. “Similarly, there is no evidence to support the rumor that the Nexus project is in any way connected to Bryon’s disappearance."

REPORTED AT WKYC. COM AT http://www.wkyc.com/news/local/medina-county/plot-thickens-in-case-of-missing-medina-county-man/376895914

"Some investigators believe he left to start a new life in California."

THE BLOGGER, UNLIKE THE SHERIFF'S "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVES, IS POSITIVE THAT BRYON MACRON IS NOT PRESENTLY, NOR WAS HE EVER IN DECEMBER 2016 AND THEREAFTER, SURFING ON CALIFORNIA'S PACIFIC COAST! 

PINOCCHIO CENTNER CELEBRATES THE ECLIPSE FROM THE PARKING LOT AT PETTICOAT JUNCTION !!!!

MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF'S CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER REPORTED TO HIS DESK JOB WITH GUSTO THIS MORNING.  

AFTER SHARPENING ANOTHER TWO DOZEN PENCILS, PINOCCHIO CENTNER MADE IMMEDIATE PREPARATIONS TO CELEBRATE THE MUCH HERALDED ECLIPSE.

INITIALLY, CENTNER DONNED HIS COMMAND PARADE UNIFORM, SHOWN BELOW, A DISPLAY OF SIMULATED TESTOSTERONE!

RECENT NEWS REPORTING HAS ABOUNDED WITH CAUTIONARY WARNINGS ABOUT LOOKING DIRECTLY AT THE SUN DURING THE ECLIPSE, WHICH MAY BE JUST ONE MORE SECONDARY HAZARD CAUSING CENTNER TO GO BLIND!

CENTNER, OF COURSE, HAS TAKEN ALL OF THE NECESSARY PRECAUTIONS.  IN THE FIRST INSTANCE, HE HAS SET ASIDE HIS NORMAL DESK JOCKEY EYEWEAR.

CENTNER HAS THEN OUTFITTED HIMSELF WITH THE OFFICIAL ECLIPSE-VIEWING SPECIALTY GLASSES, APPROVED BY NASA.

ONCE HE WAS PROPERLY ATTIRED, CENTNER MOUNTED HIS BEAN COUNTER TRANSPORT VEHICLE, WITH EXTRA-SOFT PLUSH SEATING, AND FOUND HIMSELF THE OPTIMAL SPOT IN THE PARKING LOT AT PETTICOAT JUNCTION WITH AN UNOBSTRUCTED VIEW OF THE IMPENDING ECLIPSE!

 WHEN THE ECLIPSE WAS FINALLY OVER, PINOCCHIO CENTNER WAS HEARD TO REMARK, "I HAVEN'T HAD THIS MUCH FUN SINCE I PRACTICED MY COMEDY ROUTINE AT THE PRESS CONFERENCE ANNOUNCING THE RELEASE OF BRYON MACRON'S AUTOPSY REPORT!"

THE BLOGGER BELIEVES ALL THE FUSS OVER THIS ECLIPSE AT PETTICOAT JUNCTION IS REALLY NOTHING MORE THAN MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING.  AFTER ALL, THESE MORONS ARE ALL WANDERING AROUND IN THE DARK ENDLESSLY, IMPROPERLY DISPOSING OF EVIDENCE AND IGNORING THE FACTS!

LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEES FULLY IN SUPPORT OF THE COVERUP OF THE MURDER OF BRYON MACRON !!!

LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEES LYNDA BOWERS AND MICHAEL COSTELLO ARE FULLY IN SUPPORT OF THE COVERUP OF THE MURDER OF THE LATE TRUSTEE BRYON MACRON.  THESE ARE THE SAME PEOPLE ELECTED BY VOTERS TO REPRESENT THE VOTERS' INTERESTS.

JUST WHOSE INTERESTS ARE BOWERS AND COSTELLO REALLY REPRESENTING IN SUPPORT OF THE COVERUP OF THE HOMICIDE OF BRYON MACRON?  CERTAINLY NOT THE INTERESTS OF LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP RESIDENTS WHO RIGHTFULLY HAVE AN INTEREST IN THE PROPER RESOLUTION OF THIS HOMICIDE AND THE PROSECUTION OF THE OFFENDER WHO, TO THIS DAY, WALKS FREELY AMONG THEM!

JUST WHO MAY BE THE NEXT TO DIE AT THE HANDS OF THIS PSYCHOPATHIC KILLER WHO MURDERED BRYON MACRON IN THE LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP ADMINISTRATION BUILDING?  WILL IT BE LYNDA BOWERS OR MICHAEL COSTELLO ?

BOTH BOWERS AND COSTELLO, ALONG WITH OTHER TOWNSHIP EMPLOYEES HAVE REFUSED TO SPEAK WITH THE BLOGGER WHO IS COMMITTED TO SOLVING THIS CRIME AND BRINGING THE OFFENDER TO JUSTICE.

GIVEN THE REPORTS THE BLOGGER HAS RECEIVED THAT COSTELLO HAS NOT RESIDED IN HIS HOME SINCE BRYON MACRON'S MURDER, IT IS OBVIOUS THAT COSTELLO DOESN'T BUY INTO PINOCCHIO CENTNER'S UNFOUNDED "CONCLUSION" THAT BRYON MACRON TOOK HIS OWN LIFE, A THEORY CONTRARY TO THE UNDISPUTED FACTS.  OTHERWISE, WHY WOULD COSTELLO BE AFRAID TO LIVE IN HIS OWN HOME FOR MONTHS ON END?  FEAR OF THE BOGEYMAN?

THE ONLY CONCLUSION AT WHICH THE BLOGGER CAN ARRIVE IS THAT THE IMPORT OF WHATEVER BOWERS AND COSTELLO ARE TRYING TO CONCEAL FROM PUBLIC EXPOSURE MUST BE PRETTY POWERFUL GIVEN THEIR WILLINGNESS TO BRUSH ASIDE THE MURDER OF AN INNOCENT CITIZEN LIKE BRYON MACRON FOR THE SAKE OF POLITICAL EXPEDIENCE.

THE BLOGGER INTENDS TO EXPLORE THE REAL ESTATE "BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP" BETWEEN BOWERS AND COSTELLO IN FUTURE POSTS AT THIS BLOG!

MURDER AND COVERUP ARE NOTHING SHORT OF THE CONSEQUENCE OF CORRUPTION IN GOVERNMENT.

WELCOME TO MEDINA COUNTY WHERE YOU CAN COMMIT MURDER IN THE COUNTY, PARTICULARLY IN LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP, AND ESCAPE THE CONSEQUENCES!

PINOCCHIO CENTNER TAKES CENTER STAGE TO AUDIENCE CRIES OF "DILDO" !!!

THE CURTAIN CAME DOWN ON THE MEDINA PLAYERS' PRODUCTION OF THE BOBBIT, WITH STRONG PERFORMANCES BY PHILANDERING, ILLEGITIMATE "jUDGE WEASELPECKER" COLLIER IN THE LEAD ROLE OF DILDO BAGGINS, THE PROTAGONIST.  EQUALLY IMPRESSIVE WAS THE STRONG PERFORMANCE OF "WEASLPECKER" COLLIER'S OFFICIAL COURT REPORTER (WITH BENEFITS) DONNA "HAVE IT YOUR WAY" GARRITY AS "WEASELPECKER'S" BIMBO,  IN THE ROLE OF BIMBO BAGGINS.

THE FINAL EVENING OF THE PRODUCTION, MET WITH A STANDING OVATION, WAS NOT WITHOUT INCIDENT, HOWEVER.  AS THE FINAL CURTAIN CAME DOWN, THE AUDIENCE LET OUT WITH CHANTS OF, "DILDO!  DILDO! DILDO!"

IN AN EMBARRASSING MOMENT, EVEN BEFORE THE ENTIRE CAST HAD ASSEMBLED FOR THE CURTAIN CALL, PINOCCHIO CENTNER, A PENCIL-PUSHING DESK JOCKEY AT THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE DARTED ONTO THE STAGE IN THE MISTAKEN BELIEF THE AUDIENCE WAS CALLING FOR HIS APPEARANCE, AND UNDERSTANDABLY SO.

AS IT TURNS OUT, CENTNER HAD BEEN AN UNDERSTUDY FOR "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER IN THE ROLE OF DILDO BAGGINS!

FOLLOWING THE CURTAIN CALL, THE MEDIA CRITIC FROM THE MEDINA GASSETTE SOUGHT COMMENT FROM "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER ABOUT CENTNER'S OBVIOUS FAUX PAS.

"WEASELPECKER" COLLIER, TRYING TO SMOOTH IT ALL OVER, SIMPLY CALLED IT ALL A COLOSSAL MISTAKE, CITING TO THE FACT THAT CENTNER HAD BEEN HIS UNDERSTUDY AND DESERVED SOME RECOGNITION AS A DILDO !  "NO HARM DONE THOUGH," SAID "WEASELPECKER."  '"I AM CONFIDENT THAT CENTNER MAY VERY WELL LAND THE LEAD ROLE OF DILDO BAGGINS IN THE EVENT WE  SHOULD REPRISE THE PRODUCTION.  I KNOW OF NO ONE ELSE MORE QUALIFIED TO PLAY THE LEAD ROLE OF THE DILDO IN THE WHOLE OF MEDINA COUNTY.  BESIDES, IT WILL GIVE HIM THE OPPORTUNITY TO GET OFF HIS DEAD ASS AND FROM BEHIND HIS DESK.  BEING A DESK JOCKEY, LIKE CENTNER IS, TENDS TO WARP THE PERSPECTIVE OF THE REALITIES OF THE ACTUAL NEEDS OF THE COMMUNITY!"

SO, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER HAS GRACEFULLY PASSED THE BATON TO PINOCCHIO CENTNER, FROM ONE DILDO TO ANOTHER.

BRAVO !!!

LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP: A GOOD PLACE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER!

ONCE THE DRUG DEALERS IN CLEVELAND AND AKRON GET WIND OF THE FACT THAT HOMICIDES COMMITTED IN LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP, THE "SUICIDE" RATE IN LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP IS CERTAINLY TO RISE DRAMATICALLY!

IN FACT, THE NUMBER OF DRUG DEALERS RELOCATING TO LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP IS BOUND TO GROW EXPONENTIALLY!

SOON, LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP WILL BE THE NEW SHOWPLACE OF DOPER RIDES, CUSTOM PAINT JOBS, GOLD LOW-RIDER RIMS, AND 1,000,000 DECIBEL AMPLIFIERS TO ENTERTAIN THE NEIGHBORS WITH RAP MUSIC.

IT SOUNDS LIKE PARADISE DOESN'T IT?

CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING HYPOTHETICAL.

MAURICE, A CLEVELAND DRUG DEALER WITH MANY COMPETITIVE ENEMIES, DECIDES THAT IT IS GOOD FOR BUSINESS TO MOVE TO LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TO AVOID THE PRYING EYES OF REAL POLICE.

MAURICE DECIDES TO BUILD A HOME, VALUED AT $850,000, NEAR THE PRESENT LOCATION OF INNOVATION PARK.  NOW MAURICE, LIKE ALL ACCOMPLISHED DRUG DEALERS, HAS A PENCHANT FOR FULLY AUTOMATIC WEAPONS SO AS TO BEST THE COMPETITION.  MAURICE, OF COURSE, NEEDS A FAIRLY LARGE RURAL PROPERTY WITH AMPLE ROOM TO FIRE HIS AUTOMATIC WEAPONS IN THE COURSE OF TARGET PRACTICE.

AFTER MAURICE'S HOME IS FINALLY CONSTRUCTED AND FITTED WITH SECURITY CAMERAS, MAURICE DECIDES HE NEEDS TO HAVE A FEW PETS AROUND HIS RURAL PROPERTY. MAURICE THEN GOES TO THE APL AND "ADOPTS" SIX FULLY GROWN PIT BULL CANINES, ALL PREVIOUSLY QUARANTINED FOLLOWING ATTACKS ON HUMANS.  ACTUALLY, MAURICE DECIDES TO FORM A NON-PROFIT PIT BULL RESCUE AND RECEIVES A TAX ABATEMENT FROM BETHANY DENTLER, THE DE FACTO MAYOR OF MEDINA COUNTY, WITH THE FULL APPROVAL OF LAFAYETTE TRUSTEE LYNDA BOWERS.  AFTER ALL, THE FIRST AND ONLY TIME MAURICE VOTED IN ANY ELECTION, HE DECLARED HIMSELF TO BE A REPUBLICRAT.

NEIGHBORS EVENTUALLY BECOME CONCERNED THAT THEY HEAR GUNSHOTS COMING FROM THE DIRECTION OF MAURICE'S HOUSE AT ALL HOURS OF THE DAY AND NIGHT, WHICH SHERIFF'S DE(PEW)TIES DISMISS AS NOTHING MORE THAN MAURICE AT TARGET PRACTICE AT 3:00 AM!

ON THE FOLLOWING DAY, SHERIFF'S DE(PEW)TIES RESPOND TO THE REPORT OF A BODY FOUND LYING ON THE BERM OF THE ROADWAY APPROXIMATELY 1 MILE SOUTH OF MAURICE'S HOME.

NEARBY, THEY FIND THE VICTIM'S ABANDONED BULLET-RIDDLED GOLD CADILLAC.

LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEES ARE IMMEDIATELY NOTIFIED AND RESPOND PROMPTLY TO THE SCENE.  LYNDA BOWERS, AROUSED BY HER CURIOSITY, GOES THROUGH THE POCKETS OF THE VICTIM LOOKING FOR ANY "SECRET NOTES" WHILE THE DE(PEW)TIES LOOK ON,  JUST LIKE SHE RUMMAGED THROUGH THE CRIME SCENE AT THE LAFAYETTE ADMIN BUILDING ON DECEMBER 16, 2016, THE DATE OF THE REPORTED "DISAPPEARANCE" OF LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE BRYON MACRON, LOOKING FOR ANY "SECRET NOTE" THAT BRYON MAY HAVE LEFT BEHIND (THAT BY BOWERS' OWN ADMISSION).

AT ABOUT THAT TIME, SHERIFF "I DUNNO" MILLER AND CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER ARRIVE ON SCENE.  THE CORONER'S INVESTIGATOR INFORMS MILLER AND CENTNER THAT THE VICTIM SUSTAINED 14 BULLET WOUNDS, INCLUDING 6 IN THE BACK AND 2 AT THE BACK OF THE HEAD!

AFTER CONFERRING BRIEFLY, MILLER AND CENTNER COME TO MUTUAL AGREEMENT THAT THE VICTIM OBVIOUSLY COMMITTED SUICIDE!

AT A PRESS CONFERENCE HELD 8 MONTHS LATER, WHEN THE FINAL AUTOPSY REPORT IS RELEASED, CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER STANDS BEFORE THE NEWS CAMERAS AND BOLDLY DECLARES

"THIS IS THE MOST OBVIOUS CASE OF SUICIDE I HAVE EVER SEEN.  IN ALL OF MY MANY YEARS ON THIS JOB, SITTING BEHIND A DESK AND PUSHING A PENCIL, BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I HAVE READ A LOT OF SUICIDE REPORTS.

"WHILE THE CORONER HAS RULED THE CAUSE AND MANNER OF DEATH TO BE "UNDETERMINED," WE CANNOT RULE OUT THAT EUGENE SMITH, THE VICTIM, MAY HAVE DIED FROM SELF-INDUCED LEAD POISONING.

"DURING OUR EXTENSIVE INVESTIGATION, WE LEARNED THAT EUGENE INCURRED A LARGE AMOUNT OF DEBT AND ENGAGED IN ACTIVITIES UNKNOWN TO HIS FAMILY, BUT WE ARE NOT GOING TO GET INTO THAT.  WE DIDN'T SPEND A WHOLE LOT OF TIME INVESTIGATING IN MR. SMITH'S NEIGHBORHOOD BECAUSE OF ALL THOSE SCARY BLACK GUYS HANGING AROUND AND OUR SWAD (SPECIAL WEAPONS AND DONUTS) TEAM WASN'T AVAILABLE.

"IT IS CLEAR TO OUR FINE SQUAD OF "SUMMER'S EVE" DEFECTIVES THAT EUGENE SMITH WAS THE ONLY PERSON INVOLVED IN HIS DEATH."

LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP, UNDER PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES, IS SURE TO BECOME A DOPE DEALER'S NIRVANA WHERE YOU CAN COMMIT MURDER AND GET AWAY WITH IT!

IT'S TIME TO GO GREEN! A FISCALLY SOUND PROPOSAL SURELY TO BE A BOON TO LOCAL TAXPAYERS!

IT IS FINALLY TIME FOR MEDINA COUNTY GOVERNMENT TO MOVE INTO THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY AND GO GREEN! BURNING FOSSIL FUELS IS DEGRADING THE PLANET CONTRIBUTING TO GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE, WHICH BRINGS WITH IT RISING SEA LEVELS.  MEDINA COUNTY, LOCATED DEEP WITHIN THE LAWLESS LAKE ERIE BAYOU, WILL MOST CERTAINLY BE AFFECTED.

TOWARD THE END OF ACHIEVING SUSTAINABILITY AND SAVING THE PLANET, THE BLOGGER OFFERS UP THE FOLLOWING FISCALLY SOUND PROPOSAL THAT WILL BE A BOON TO LOCAL TAXPAYERS AND IN THE COURSE OF SO DOING, MAKE MEDINA COUNTY THE ENVY OF OTHER LOCAL GOVERNMENTS THROUGHOUT THE LAND SUCH AS COOK COUNTY, ILLINOIS AND DADE COUNTY, FLORIDA (BOTH OF WHICH, LIKE MEDINA COUNTY,  HAVE A RICH AND STORIED HISTORY OF PUBLIC CORRUPTION).

THE MEDINA GASSETTE, THE ORACLE OF THE MEDINA COUNTY REPUBLICRAT PARTY, HAS RECENTLY PUBLISHED A PENETRATING "INVESTIGATIVE" ARTICLE ANNOUNCING THAT SHERIFF "I DUNNO" MILLER'S CHIEF BEAN COUNTER AND DESK JOCKEY, CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER IS PREPARED TO APPROACH THE COUNTY COMMISSIONERS FOR MORE MONEY TO PURCHASE TWO NEW CARS FOR DONUT RUNS TO DUNKIN' DONUTS.

ACCORDING TO THE ARTICLE, PINOCCHIO CENTER IS PREPARED TO ARGUE THAT TWO CARS IN THE SHERIFF'S FLEET EACH HAVE IN EXCESS OF 200,000 MILES, THAT IS 400,000 MILES IN THE AGGREGATE.  CAN READERS IMAGINE JUST HOW MANY DONUT RUNS THESE CARS HAVE MADE TO DUNKIN' DONUTS?

THE ARTICLE GOES ON TO CITE PINOCCHIO CENTNER WHO CLAIMS THE REPLACEMENT COST OF EACH VEHICLE TO BE $40, 000 PER COPY, FOR THE TOTAL SUM OF $80,000, MORE OR LESS.

CAN YOU, THE READERS, IMAGINE HOW MANY DOZENS OF DONUTS $80,000 CAN BUY?

GO GREEN PROPOSAL

IF MEMORY SERVES, CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER, AFTER DUTIFULLY COUNTING ALL THE BEANS, HAS CLAIMED THAT THE SHERIFF EXPENDED MORE THAN $169,000 ON VEHICLE REPAIRS AND MAINTENANCE.  ADD FUEL COSTS TO THAT AND READERS WILL QUICKLY CONCLUDE THAT TAXPAYERS ARE HAVING A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF THEIR TAX DOLLARS EXPENDED ON THIRD-RATE "SERVICES" (IF THAT IS THE PROPER TERM) FROM THE SHERIFF.  READERS NEED LOOK NO FURTHER THAN THE NO-INVESTIGATION INTO THE MURDER OF LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE BRYON MACRON, WHICH THESE MORONS HAVE UNSUCCESSFULLY TRIED TO PASS OFF AS A SUICIDE TO COVER UP POLITICAL INTRIGUE IN MEDINA COUNTY.

EVEN STEVIE WONDER CAN SEE THIS CRIME WAS NOT A SUICIDE!

WITH AN EYE TO FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY, THE BLOGGER OFFERS THE FOLLOWING GREEN ALTERNATIVE TO REPLACING HIGH-MILEAGE, GAS GUZZLERS WITH A FLEET OF SENSIBLE, ECO-FRIENDLY VEHICLES SUITED TO PERFECTLY MEET THE SHERIFF'S TRANSPORTATION NEEDS.

THE BASIC PATROL VEHICLE

SHOWN BELOW IS THE BASIC, NO-FRILLS PATROL VEHICLE TO BE ASSIGNED TO THE SHERIFF'S ROAD DIVISION, WITH A BASE PRICE RANGING FROM $355-$405.  TAXPAYERS WOULD LIKELY SEE A SIGNIFICANT VOLUME DISCOUNT ON THE PURCHASE OF 50 OR MORE REPLACEMENT PATROL VEHICLES!

THIS STUNNING BASIC PATROL VEHICLE IS STREET LEGAL, ELECTRICALLY OPERATED AND EQUIPPED WITH A HIGH PERFORMANCE 1,000 WATT, 250 CC ENGINE, PERFECT FOR PURSUING THOSE WAYWARD JUVENILES IN POSSESSION OF WEED, THE CREATION OF THE DEVIL!

THE BASIC PATROL VEHICLES WILL HAVE TO BE SELECTIVELY UPGRADED, HOWEVER, AT A SLIGHT UP CHARGE!  FOR EXAMPLE, THE HANDLEBARS WILL HAVE TO BE UPGRADED WITH RED COLORED EMERGENCY LIGHTING, SHOWN BELOW.

THE UPGRADE COST IS A MERE $2.44 (WITH FREE SHIPPING),  A REAL BARGAIN AT ANY WANNABE COP SHOP!  THIS NIFTY LITTLE NUMBER WILL GIVE FAIR WARNING TO DRIVERS TRAVELING AT LESS THAN 20 MPH TO CLEAR THE ROADWAY AND MAKE WAY FOR SHERIFF'S DE(PEW)TIES IN HOT PURSUIT OF THOSE JUVIES LITTERING THE COUNTY WITH CANDY BAR WRAPPERS.

HEAVY-DUTY SHOCKS WILL ALSO BE A REQUIRED UPGRADE.  THESE DE(PEW)TIES HAVE REALLY BEEN PACKING ON THE POUNDS WITH ALL THE DONUTS THEY'VE BEEN GOBBLING UP!

AN OPTIONAL CARGO CARRIER, SHOWN BELOW, IS A MANDATORY UPGRADE, SUFFICIENT TO TRANSPORT NO FEWER THAN A BAKER'S DOZEN (13) DUNKIN' DONUTS DONUTS OR 18 KRISPY KREMES!

AT A COST OF $59.95 - $89.95 PER COPY, SOME MIGHT THINK THIS UPGRADE IS A LITTLE PRICEY. AFTER SOME COST/BENEFIT ANALYSIS, HOWEVER, IT IS CLEAR THAT THIS MODEST INVESTMENT TURNS OUT TO BE A REAL MONEY SAVER.  INSTEAD OF MAKING A DONUT RUN TO DUNKIN' DONUTS TO RE-UP AFTER 2 OR 3 DONUTS ARE GONE, DE(PEW)TIES CAN SIMPLY REACH BACK INTO THE DUFFLE AND GORGE THEMSELVES ON ANOTHER FEW DONUTS WHILE ON PATROL AND BEFORE THE NEXT COFFEE & DONUT BREAK.

FINALLY, A LIMITED NUMBER OF BASIC PATROL VEHICLES WILL HAVE TO BE MODIFIED TO ACCOMMODATE THE NEEDS OF THE SHERIFF'S CHICKENSHIT SQUAD (SIMPLY KNOWN AMONG THEIR PEERS AS THE CHICKENSHITS) WHO ARE CHARGED WITH ENFORCING THE CHICKENSHIT ACT OF 2016 BY ROUNDING UP ALL THE ERRANT FREE RANGE CHICKENS ROAMING THE COUNTY. AN EASY IN, EASY OUT CAGE, SHOWN BELOW, FITTED TO THE BASIC PATROL VEHICLE WILL DO NICELY.

THESE BASIC, GREEN PATROL VEHICLES WILL MAKE A SUBSTANTIAL POSITIVE CONTRIBUTION TO SAVING THE PLANET!

BEAN COUNTER TRANSPORT (SPECIAL ORDER)

IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT THE SHERIFF'S MAIN BEAN COUNTER, CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTER, CANNOT BE OVERLOOKED WHEN PLACING A NEW FLEET OF ECO-FRIENDLY VEHICLES INTO SERVICE. CRAPTAIN CENTNER, A DESK JOCKEY AND PENCIL PUSHER WHOSE ONLY HAZARDOUS DUTY IS BEING PLACED IN THE PATH OF AN ERRANT STAPLE FLYING ACROSS HIS DESK, CERTAINLY NEEDS THE COMFORT AND SECURITY OF HIDING BEHIND A DESK.  AFTER ALL, THOSE CHARGING HEREFORD CATTLE  CAN BE REALLY DANGEROUS WHEN STANDING BETWEEN THEM AND THE FEEDING TROUGH.

PRESENTED FOR READERS' CONSIDERATION IS A SPECIAL ORDER BEAN COUNTER TRANSPORT, WHICH, OF COURSE, WILL HAVE TO BE SPECIALLY ADAPTED FOR PINOCCHIO CENTER, THE BASIC MODEL SHOWN BELOW.  THE BASE MODEL IS ONLY A MODEST $525.00, A REAL BARGAIN TO ACCOMMODATE AN IMPORTANT PENCIL PUSHER LIKE CENTNER!

READERS WILL NOTE THE ERGONOMIC DESIGN.  A MESH BASKET AT THE FRONT OF THE VEHICLE WILL EASILY ACCOMMODATE TWO DOZEN DUNKIN' DONUTS OR THIRTY-SIX KRISPY KREME DONUTS.

READERS WILL NOTE, THAT EVEN TRAVELLING TO STAPLES TO PICK UP ANOTHER GROSS OF LEAD PENCILS, PINOCCHIO CENTNER WILL HAVE THE SENSUAL EXPERIENCE OF SITTING IN HIS PLUSH OFFICE CHAIR RIGHT BEHIND HIS OFFICE  DESK.  THE STANDARD BASKET WILL SURELY HOLD AT LEAST ONE FULL GROSS OF #2 LEAD PENCILS, ENOUGH TO LAST CENTNER FOR AT LEAST ONE MONTH.

SPECIAL UPGRADES WILL BE REQUIRED.  NO EMERGENCY LIGHTING WILL BE REQUIRED.  THE ONLY REAL EMERGENCY TO WHICH PINOCCHIO EVER RESPONDS IS A PAPER JAM IN THE OFFICE COPY MACHINE.

PINOCCHIO CENTNER'S BEAN COUNTER TRANSPORT WILL HAVE TO BE UPGRADED WITH AN AUTOMATIC PENCIL SHARPENER, SHOWN BELOW.

THIS IS A BARGAIN UPDATE AT AN UP CHARGE OF ONLY $20.99!  WITH THIS UPGRADE, CENTNER WILL HAVE NO FEAR OR ANXIETY OF BEING WITHOUT A SHARPENED PENCIL AT ALL TIMES.

ALSO, CENTNER'S BEAN COUNTER TRANSPORT MUST BE UPGRADED WITH AN INDESTRUCTIBLE STAINLESS STEEL PAIL SO AS TO PERMIT HIM TO CONTINUE COUNTING BEANS TO AND FROM DUNKIN' DONUTS. 

THE UP CHARGE FOR THE STAINLESS STEEL PAIL IS NEGLIGIBLE!

THE NEXT MANDATORY UPGRADE IS AN INDUSTRIAL GRADE BROOM TO PERMIT PINOCCHIO CENTNER TO SWEEP THE FACTS AND THE TRUTH UNDER THE RUG, A USUAL AND CUSTOMARY PRACTICE IN THE MEDINA COUNTY "JUSTUS" SYSTEM!

THE BLOGGER, OF COURSE, IS NOT REFERRING TO THE RECENT "PRESS" CONFERENCE RELATING TO THE HOMICIDE OF LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE BRYON MACRON.  PINOCCHIO CENTNER DIDN'T SWEEP ANY REAL FACTS UNDER THE RUG SIMPLY BECAUSE HE DID NOT HAVE ANY REAL AND TRUE FACTS TO BEGIN WITH!!!

TRUTH BE TOLD, THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF CONCLUDED ON DECEMBER 16, 2016, THE DATE ON WHICH BRYON "DISAPPEARED," THAT BRYON HAD COMMITTED SUICIDE.  WHY BOTHER INVESTIGATING A "SUICIDE," SO THEY DIDN'T BOTHER!  WHAT A BUNCH OF COMPLETE MORONS WITH NO CHARACTER AND NO INTEGRITY.  KEYSTONE KOPS WITH THE UNFETTERED ABILITY TO SCREW UP EVEN THE MOST INNOCENT OF WET DREAMS!

LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, PINOCCHIO CENTNER'S BEAN COUNTER TRANSPORT MUST BE EQUIPPED WITH A BULLSHIT SPREADER TO BE USED IN ALL FUTURE "PRESS" CONFERENCES WHERE CENTNER ROUTINELY SPREADS IMPROBABLE UNADULTERATED BULLSHIT IN AN UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT TO CONCEAL AND COVER UP THE COMPLETE INCOMPETENCE OF THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE WHERE CORRUPT POLITICIANS ARE THE TAIL THAT WAGS THE DOG.

WHILE $4,500 MIGHT SEEM TO BE AN EXORBITANT AMOUNT TO EXPEND FOR AN UPGRADE, FAR OUTSTRIPPING THE INITIAL INVESTMENT OF THE $525.00 BASE COST OF THE BEAN COUNTER TRANSPORT, THE READERS SHOULD TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE SHEER VOLUME OF UNADULTERATED BULLSHIT THAT CRAPTAIN PINOCCHIO CENTNER THROWS AROUND DAILY!

SWAD VAN (SPECIAL WEAPONS AND DONUTS)

THERE ARE RARE OCCASIONS THAT THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF IS REQUIRED TO MUSTER THE RESOURCES OF THE MEDINA COUNTY SWAD (SPECIAL WEAPONS AND DONUTS) TEAM.  ARRESTING ITINERANT MARAUDING AFRICAN AMERICAN MALES TRAVELING THOUGH THE COUNTY ON INTERSTATE 71 TYPICALLY CALLS FOR A RESPONSE FROM THE MEDINA COUNTY SWAD TEAM. 

THE PROPOSED SWAD VAN IS DEPICTED BELOW.

THE BASE PRICE OF OF THIS TURBO CHARGED 150 CC FOUR-STROKE ENGINE, ALTHOUGH NOT ELECTRICALLY OPERATED,  AT ONLY $800.00 IS MORE THAN REASONABLE. THE SWAD VAN IS CERTAINLY SUFFICIENTLY POWERFUL ENOUGH TO TRANSPORT THE ENTIRE SWAD TEAM TO RUSTLE A HERD OF CATTLE OUT OF THE COUNTY'S MANY RURAL ROADWAYS WITHOUT INORDINATE DELAY!

UNLIKE THE BEAN COUNTER TRANSPORT, THE SWAD VAN REQUIRES ONLY ONE UPGRADE, AN INDUSTRIAL BROOM (SHOWN ABOVE) TO SWEEP THE COW MANURE OFF THE ROADWAY.

THE SWAD VAN CAN PROPERLY BE INTEGRATED INTO THE FLEET AS A MULTI-PURPOSE VEHICLE, PERFECT FOR GROUP DONUTS RUNS TO DUNKIN' DONUTS BETWEEN EMERGENCY COW RUNS.

CENTRALLY LOCATED CHARGING STATIONS

WHILE SOME MIGHT QUESTION THE WISDOM OF RELYING UPON AN ALL-ELECTRIC FLEET OF SHERIFF'S SERVICE VEHICLES FOR WANT OF SUFFICIENT CHARGING STATIONS, THAT PROBLEM IS EASILY SOLVED.

THE COUNTY NEED ONLY INSTALL CHARGING STATIONS AT THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE, LOCATED IN PETTICOAT JUNCTION AND AT EVERY DONUT SHOP WITHIN THE BOUNDARIES OF MEDINA COUNTY.  CITIZENS CAN BE ASSURED THAT THE SHERIFF'S FLEET OF BASIC PATROL VEHICLES WILL BE FULLY CHARGED AT ALL TIMES.

IT IS FINALLY TIME FOR MEDINA COUNTY, LOCATED DEEP WITHIN THE LAWLESS LAKE ERIE BAYOU, TO TAKE A FIRST STEP INTO THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY WITH A MODEST INVESTMENT IN "GREEN" TECHNOLOGY!  READING LESSONS FOR SHERIFF'S PERSONNEL COME NEXT!

HISTORY POP QUIZ !

IN ORDER TO OFFER REGULAR READERS SOME BRIEF RESPITE FROM THE NORMAL GRIME AND CORRUPTION IN MEDINA COUNTY, THE BLOGGER HAS DECIDED TO PUBLISH A POP QUIZ TO TEST READERS' KNOWLEDGE OF TWENTIETH CENTURY RELATIVELY MODERN HISTORY.

FOLLOWING IS THE MULTIPLE CHOICE HISTORICAL QUESTION AND THE CORRECT  ANSWER:

QUESTION:  WHO IS REPORTED TO HAVE SAID, "I WANT TO BE A TAMPON?"

CHOICES:  A. BRITAIN'S PRINCE CHARLES

                     B. PHILANDERING ILLEGITIMATE MEDINA COUNTY JUDGE
                          "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER

THINK ABOUT YOUR ANSWER BEFORE POSITING A GUESS!

HERE IS THE CORRECT ANSWER:

A. PRINCE CHARLES IN A LATE NIGHT CELL PHONE CALL WITH CAMILLA BOWLES MADE THE AMUSING COMMENT.

THE ALMOST CORRECT ANSWER:

B. "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER IS ALMOST THE CORRECT ANSWER.  THE LANGUAGE OF THE QUOTATION IS REALLY THE KEY TO THE ANSWER AS ANY ASTUTE READER HAS QUICKLY REALIZED.

THE RATIONALE:

WHEREAS PRINCE CHARLES, A MEMBER OF THE ROYAL FAMILY, CLAIMED HE "WANTED TO BE A TAMPON,"  REGULAR READERS QUICKLY RECOGNIZED THAT "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER HAS LONG AGO BEEN RECOGNIZED AS A TAMPON.

AND A DOUCHEBAG, TOO!