That is precisely correct. We have seceded from the Union and formed our own independent, sovereign state, presently known as MEDINALAND!
There will be no more income tax due the United States Government. Tax protesters from across the nation will soon be flocking to Medinaland, which should spark our economy with a building boom never before seen hereabouts.
The United States Federal Government will no longer be able to exercise its jurisdiction, and therefore its statutes, in Medinaland. Who needs them, any way?
No more FBI here. It'll be the Medinaland Bureau of Investigation, or the MBI for short, here in the sovereign state of Medinaland!
Anti - U.S.Government militiamen and white supremacists, we've got a place for you in Medinaland. Bring along all of your armament and as much ammunition as you can carry. There will be no prohibition against automatic weaponry, hand grenades, explosives and the like. We may just need them to overthrow the Medinaland Supreme Court, in time!
We can change the laws of our sovereign state to permit marijuana plantations! Just imagine how that will boost land values. An acre out in the county will be worth millions!
We won't need to appoint a Supreme Court, however. We already have that in place.
We won't need to establish a Port Authority either. We already have one of those currently in place to regulate shipping on Chippewa Lake. We really won't need a Navy or Coast Guard, since there are no navigable rivers running through Medinaland.
We can elevate the mayors of each city, village and township to our Senate, and all councilmen to our House of Representatives. We'll call the joint assembly of House and Senate the Politburo.
We can do like the local school districts, and award significant pay raises to our government officials each time we pass a tax levy. After all, with a marijuana cash crop worth millions, land owners could afford to pay a little more in taxes.
No more need for food stamps either. If you're hungry, you will be able to go to the nearest MacDonald's or Burger King Restaurant, where breakfast lunch and dinner will be served free, supported by the tax revenues derived from the exportation of our major cash crop, marijuana.
We will most certainly abolish the two-party system, since they are now all in bed together anyway.
We can adopt a new process of electing our Senators and Congressmen. We'll discard that antiquated practice of one vote for one man.
Instead, we'll adopt a new electoral process modeled on that in Chicago, Illinois, USA. Our new electoral theme will be, "Vote Early, Vote Often." After all, it is the early bird that gets the worm!
We will be sure however, unlike the current process in place in Medina County, that at least two white candidates run for each elected office. That way there's a good chance we can eliminate the back room deals that presently go on between Republicans and Democrats, who make sure they seat only their handpicked "candidates," contrary to the public interest.
We will now be able to completely eliminate our dependence on foreign oil, or any oil at all, for that matter. Since we have a reasonably sized Amish population in our sovereign state, we will outlaw possession and use all motors which operate on petroleum and petroleum-based products. That includes automobiles and motorcycles.
Need to gut the grass? Sheep and goats do a nice job, and they're ecologically friendly. We may need to change our slogan from "Green up Medinaland' to "BROWN UP MEDINALAND" with the proliferation of livestock in our neighborhoods! Just like Henry Ford used to say in 1920's Detroit, Michigan, USA, "A goat in every garage!"
We will make the horse and buggy the only authorized mode of transportation. The additional advantage to outlawing the automobile is we will completely wipe out fatal car/buggy collisions from our highways. Besides, the horse droppings will make good fertilizer in our gardens and will be readily available....right outside your front door.
Since we will no longer use automobiles and the like, we can eliminate traffic signals and street lights. Just think of the electrical energy we will save by those two nifty measures.
It is impractical, however, to ask citizens of Medinaland to give up motorized transportation when traveling outside of Medinaland. We can enter into a foreign treaty with Summit County, Ohio USA to acquire several acres of land just across the border to store automobiles and motorcycles. That way, after passing through the Medinaland border crossing, citizens can travel to their motorized vehicles parked in the U.S.
The issue of tolls at Medinaland border crossings has yet to be decided.
Upon returning to Medinaland, however, citizens will be required to clear Medinaland Customs.
I suppose we'll have to vote on the slavery issue, just to be "fair" to all the non-whites living in Medinaland though. However, a popular vote of only white voters living in Medinaland will decide the issue. (You can bet that most folks in Medinaland won't be voting in the whites-only elections for anyone named Lincoln!)
Taking a page from the foreign history of the neighboring United States, we will really need to use a lot of cheap manual labor on our marijuana plantations. Who better to provide it than non-white slaves?
If the slavery initiative is passed by a simple majority in the all-white elections, any non-whites sneaking into Medinaland will be immediately impressed into slavery. Of course, all non-whites will be turned back at the border. If enough non-whites try to sneak across the border, we'll be able to replace all of those funky statues of Black jockeys holding phoney lanterns with the real thing. judge COLLIER and county prosecutor HOLMAN will be the first to own two.
Storage of slaves will not be a problem. We can house them in all of church buildings scattered around Medinaland, since we are going to eliminate all forms of organized religion. If the Medinaland Supreme Court is Godless, then it's just as good for the rest of us. After all the only Supreme Being in Medinaland to whom we all owe homage is prosecutor DINO HOLMAN.
However, if the slavery initiative fails by a two-thirds majorityin the election, all non-whites will be immediately expelled from Medinaland and repatriated to Cleveland, Ohio, USA. They really wouldn't get along well with our burgeoning population of white supremacists anyway.
The last thing we'd need is a civil war so early in the formation of our new independent nation of Medinaland.
Yes, it's shaping up to be a new day in Medinaland ! (has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?)
FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST!
Thanks to the efforts of the prosecutors and judges of Medina County, these and other changes are blowing in the wind.
Don't like it? Well, we'll just imprison you for some trumped up charge. We've dispensed with all of that nonsense like proof and evidence. We have judges like COLLIER to make sure the agenda of the new nation is accomplished, no matter how many citizens we have to step on, or how many families we have to destroy.
But most importantly, we have DINO HOLMAN and his criminal assistants, SCOTTY SLEAZEBURY and MUSTAFAH RHAZAVI to pull all of the strings to make sure that COLLIER and his colleagues "do the right thing." COLLIER is like putty in their hands.
Additionally,SLEAZEBURY will be given new powers and authority in Medinaland. He will be designated as Ambassador to the Gay and Lesbian Alliance!
Of course, Mustafah has to go since he's not really white. Understandably, there will be some minor inconvenience to some Medinaland residents as these changes go into effect. Of course, HOLMAN could buy RHAZAVI at auction and keep him around the office for old times' sake.
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY, IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO YOU, WILL IT?
At long last, the yoke of suppression of the Federal Government has been lifted from the shoulders of the citizens of Medina County, henceforth to be known as Medinaland (until we come up with a better name, that is)!
How have I come to know this? Quite simply by application of deductive logic.
I infer that we have formed our own independent, sovereign state by virtue of the very basic fact that the PROSECUTORS AND JUDGES OF MEDINA COUNTY HAVE ABOLISHED THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION AND THE RULE OF LAW WITHIN THE LIMITS OF THIS COUNTY!!!
The future of Medinaland looks really bright under this new REGIME, doesn't it?
I wonder if we will all have to go to the county courthouse and get new passports to travel over to Akron before the border crossing gates go up?
MUCH MORE TO COME ...
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