LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!
IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING THE OPENING CEREMONY, COMPETITORS LAUNCHED INTO THE INITIAL COMPETITIVE EVENT, ICE DANCING.
IN A SURPRISINGLY BOLD CHALLENGE TO OTHER COMPETITORS, MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF'S MAJOR (F@@KUP) LYING PINOCCHIO CENTNER(D) ENTERED THE ICE DANCING COMPETITION.
EVEN THOUGH THE EVENT TOOK PLACE IN THE ICE PALACE ATOP A COLD AND SNOWY SOUTH KOREAN MOUNTAINTOP, IT WAS CLEAR TO ONLOOKERS THAT EVEN BEFORE PINOCCHIO CENTNER(D) TOOK TO THE ICE, HE DIDN’T HAVE A SNOWBALL’S CHANCE IN HELL TO PLACE IN THE EVENT. THIS IS OBVIOUS TO ANYONE WHO HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO VIEW PINOCCHIO CENTNER(D)’S COMPLETELY FAILED ATTEMPTS TO DANCE AROUND THE FACTS AT HIS SO-CALLED “PRESS CONFERENCE” WHEN HE BOLDLY DECLARED, BEFORE GOD AND THE WORLD, AND CONTRARY TO ALL THE FACTS AND REASON, THAT THE MURDERED LAFAYETTE TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE BRYON MACRON WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS OWN DEATH.
THE ONLY WAY CENTNER(D) COULD HAVE SUPPORTED THAT CONTENTION IS BY CLINGING TO THE BELIEF THAT MR. MACRON CAUSED HIS OWN DEATH BY SIMPLY GETTING OUT OF BED ON THE MORNING OF DECEMBER 15, 2016!
DURING HIS VENTURE ONTO THE ICE, AND DURING HIS DISMAL ICE DANCING PERFORMANCE, CENTNER(D) REPEATEDLY THRUST HIS HAND DOWN THE FRONT OF HIS PINK TUTU AND APPEARED TO BE FONDLING HIS JOHNSON.
ONE OUTRAGED PARALYMPICS JUDGE WAS HEARD TO BLURT OUT ANGRILY, "THIS IS THE ICE DANCING COMPETITION, NOT POCKET POOL! THAT COMPETITION BELONGS IN THE SUMMER GAMES!”
PINOCCHIO CENTNER(D) WAS DISQUALIFIED FROM THE ICE DANCING EVENT, A REAL “BALL BUSTER” AS FAR AS CENTNER(D) WAS CONCERNED!
PICTURED BELOW IS AN OFFICIAL PHOTOGRAPH RELEASED BY THE PARALYMPICS COMMITTEE DEPICTING PINOCCHIO CENTNER(D) AS HE TAKES TO THE ICE DURING HIS ICE DANCING ROUTINE.
AS THE PARALYMPIC GAMES HAVE BEGUN TO PLAY OUT IN SOUTH KOREA, PINOCCHIO CENTNER(D), HERETOFORE A FAVORITE IN THE TREE HUGGING EVENT, HAS BEEN DEALT A SEVER "BLOW," PLACING HIS CHANCES FOR A GOLD PLASTIC MEDAL IN SERIOUS DOUBT. AS IT TURNS OUT, DURING HIS PERFORMANCE IN THE ICE DANCING EVENT (HE WAS DISQUALIFIED) CENTNER(D) CAME DOWN WITH AN EMBARRASSING CASE OF JOCK ITCH.
SEEKING IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ATTENTION, KNOWING HE WOULD BE ELIMINATED FROM THE TREE HUGGING EVENT II HE RELEASED HIS GRIP ON THE TREE TO SCRATCH HIS CROTCH. THE PARALYMPICS MEDICAL STAFF THOROUGHLY EXAMINED CENTNER(D) DIAGNOSED HIM WITH A SEVERE CASE OF GENITAL POISON IVY, FORCING HIM TO WITHDRAW FROM FURTHER "COMPETITION."
SOMETIMES THAT'S JUST THE WAY THE BALL(S) BOUNCE(S)!