MEDINA COMMUNITY THEATER CASTING CALLS

This year, the Medina County Community Theater is presenting its adaptation of the classic production of Pinocchio.

Auditions have been held and the competition for the lead role was fierce.  After four rounds of reading, the producers reduced the pool of potentials to two leading contenders: LAPDOG MEDINA JUDGE CHRISTOPHER COLLIER, THAT STUPID COMMON CRIMINAL, who regularly displays his thespian tendencies in Kangaroo Courtroom No. 1 at the Medina County Courthouse/Mosque & Railroad Station; and MEDINA ASS PROSECUTOR SCOTT SALISBURY, THE PATHOLOGICAL LIAR. 


At first blush, SALISBURY was a hands-down favorite for the lead role of Pinocchio since he has developed a long-term and widely recognized reputation in the community as a PATHOLOGICAL LIAR.


However, other considerations came into play.  For example, LAPDOG JUDGE COLLIER,THAT STUPID COMMON CRIMINAL, is a natural as Pinocchio.  Playing the role of a puppet comes naturally to LAPDOG, who daily serves as the puppet of CORRUPT MEDINA COUNTY PROSECUTOR DINO HOLMAN over in Kangaroo Courtroom No. 1 at the Medina County Courthouse/Mosque & Railroad Station.

After all the dust had settled, LAPDOG COLLIER won out and landed lead role and will be starring in the production of Pinocchio.  DINO HOLMAN, of course, landed the primary supporting role of Geppetto.  Given the fact that HOLMAN has pulled LAPDOG COLLIER'S strings for years, and has so successfully manipulated LAPDOG COLLIER to dance to his tune, HOLMAN had no serious competition for the role.


MEDINA ASS PROSECUTOR SALISBURY, THE PATHOLOGICAL LIAR, although initially disappointed by his elimination for the lead role in Pinocchio, rebounded when he won the lead role in another production, to be presented later in the year.

SALISBURY, THE PATHOLOGICAL LIAR, has won the lead role in the theatrical adaptation of C.S. Forrester's novel  The Happy Return.


Apparently, however, rehearsals for the production of The Happy Return have not been going well, as evidenced by this report from a local gossip column:

The local chatter is that the first rehearsal has not gone well for fledgling actor Medina County Assistant Prosecutor SCOTT SALISBURY, who has won the lead role in the adaptation of C.S.Forester's novel "The Happy Return." SALISBURY plays the leading role of FELLATIO HORNBLOWER, the younger brother of Captain Horatio Hornblower. In his role, FELLATIO, an Admiralty Officer, is responsible for handling the discharge of semen from the British Royal Navy. FELLATIO drew sharp criticism after he blew several of his lines. One irritated cast member, speaking of SALISBURY'S stumbling first attempt, was overheard to say, "THAT'S NOT ALL THAT SALISBURY BLOWS!"

SO GOES THE LATEST SCOOP IN THE WORLD OF MEDINA COUNTY CULTURAL NEWS AND EVENTS


MUCH MORE TO COME ....