The Native American Tribe, Michigan & Ohio Remnants of the Ottawa Nation (MORON) has bestowed the honorary title of Chief MORON upon elderly judge Richard Markus.
Markus received the honor with his usual lack of humility, remarking, "I've always considered myself a MORON among MORONS."
Markus received numerous accolades at the ceremony in which he was named Chief MORON.
Markus' Third Grade teacher, now a spry 104 years of age, took the podium and told the crowd, "I always though of the judge simply as a Dick in class. I recognized right away that the had the right stuff to rise among MORONS to the pinnacle of success, the Chief among the MORONS."
The tribe did not bestow this honor lightly upon Markus. The Elders met over a period of months at various councils to debate the issue of whether or not Markus demonstrated all of the qualities of a MORON to merit the award. Chief Schitting Bull, who presented the award, declared of Markus, "Once a MORON, always a MORON. I know of no greater living MORON."
In his acceptance address, Markus stated proudly, "I was born a MORON, have lived the life of a MORON, and I'll die a MORON. Everything I've ever done, I've done as a MORON."
Markus, now aptly known as CHIEF AMONG MORONS, graciously took the opportunity to acknowledge some of his fellow MORONS, especially the MORONS over at the Medina County courthouse, mosque, and railroad station.
Markus singled out particularly philandering LAPDOG MEDINA jUDGE COLLIER and LAPDOG'S INTIMATE CONSPIRATOR , MEDINA COURT REPORTER DONNA "HAVE IT YOUR WAY" GARRITY. Markus stated openly to the crowd of his supporters, a number of other MORONS at a meeting of the Medina County Bar Association, "I would like to acknowledge LAPDOG COLLIER and his intimate colleague DONNA "HAVE IT YOUR WAY" GARRITY, who have been tampering with transcripts for the past ten years. NOW THOSE ARE A COUPLE OF REAL MORONS."
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