LAPDOG "PUBLIUS" COLLIER FACES DOUBLE-DUTY DILEMMA ON MOTHER'S DAY

Sunday is the day for all loving husbands and fathers [LAPDOG "PUBLIUS" COLLIER automatically excluded] to honor their mother and wives, the mothers of their children.  This celebration is so richly deserved by women everywhere who are the glue binding families together.  In fact, every day should be declared Mothers' Day in recognition of the sacrifices that mothers make daily in support of their families.

As the celebration of Mother's Day approaches, ILLEGITIMATE MEDINA "JUDGE" LAPDOG "PUBLIUS" COLLIER finds himself on the horns (horny?) of a dilemma.

LAPDOG "PUBLIUS" COLLIER has a second wife and daughter tucked safely away at home in Medina.

At the same time, LAPDOG COLLIER has engaged in a longstanding, SORDID SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP with his court reporter DONNA "HAVE IT YOUR WAY" GARRITY, LAPDOG'S PARAMOUR, MISTRESS, and MAIN SQUEEZE.

WHAT IS LAPDOG COLLIER TO DO ON MOTHERS' DAY ?

After much thought, over a period of two agonizing minutes [it's painful for COLLIER anytime he tries to engage both of his brain cells at the same time] LAPDOG COLLIER has arrived at what he believes to be an equitable and satisfactory solution to his dilemma.

LAPDOG COLLIER HAS DECIDED TO SHOWER HIS WIFE (AND DAUGHTER), AS WELL AS GARRITY, HIS PARAMOUR, MISTRESS, and MAIN SQUEEZE with what he believes to be satisfactory gifts on the occasion of Mother's Day.

PICTURED BELOW IS LAPDOG COLLIER'S INTENDED GIFTING TO DONNA "HAVE IT YOUR WAY" GARRITY, LAPDOG COLLIER'S PARAMOUR, MISTRESS, AND MAIN SQUEEZE:

AT THE SAME TIME, LAPDOG COLLIER HAS CHOSEN WHAT HE BELIEVES TO BE A SUITABLE GIFT FOR HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER SO THAT THEY MAY CELEBRATE MOTHERS' DAY IN THE STYLE TO WHICH THEY HAVE BECOME ACCUSTOMED, PICTURED BELOW:

WHAT A GRAND GESTURE, BURGER KING COUPONS FOR HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER FOR DINNER FOR TWO!