LAPDOG "PUBLIUS" COLLIER PLEADS WITH BUCKY BATCHELDER TO USE HIS INFLUENCE TO PLACE LAPDOG'S MAIN SQUEEZE'S PICTURE ON $100.00 BILL !

A recent controversy has arisen on Capitol Hill pertaining to substituting portraits of past presidents and statesmen with portraits and photographs of females on United States currency.

Of course, LAPDOG "PUBLIUS" COLLIER was quick to jump on that bandwagon.  LAPDOG COLLIER placed an immediate telephone call to one of his mentors. retired Ohio Rep. BUCKY BATCHELDER with a request to put the fix in for him.

After all, it took no more than a phone call from BUCKY BATCHELDER to CROOKED OHIO ATTORNEY GENERAL MIKE DEWINE to derail a purported "investigation" into LAPDOG COLLIER'S UNLAWFUL PRACTICE OF ALTERING TRANSCRIPTS, LAPDOG'S PRACTICE FOR NO LESS THAN THE PAST 11 YEARS.

JUST ONE PHONE CALL FROM BUCKY BATCHELDER TO SLUG DEWINE IS ALL IT TOOK TO SWEEP LAPDOG COLLIER'S CRIMINAL CONDUCT UNDER THE RUG.

GIVEN BUCKY BATCHELDER'S SMOKE FILLED BACKROOM INFLUENCE WITH OTHER POLITICAL SLUGS, REASONED LAPDOG, MOST ASSUREDLY BUCKY COULD GET THE PHOTO OF HIS PARAMOUR, MISTRESS, AND MAIN SQUEEZE DONNA "HAVE IT YOUR WAY" GARRITY ONTO SOME ITEM OF UNITED STATES CURRENCY.

THE DISCUSSION BETWEEN LAPDOG COLLIER AND BUCKY BATCHELDER IS REPORTED TO HAVE GONE SOMETHING LIKE THIS:

(Telephone Ringing)

BUCKY:  Hello!

LAPDOG:   Hey Bucky, it's the DAWG!  

BUCKY:  lAPDOG, how are you doing since I got DeWine to conceal and cover up your crimes?

LAPDOG:  I am doing just fine, aside from the fact that my SORDID SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP  has come to the light of day. 

BUCKY:  Just ignore it, it will all blow over just like the decades of other scandals and corruption in the county we've all been involved in.  By the way, speaking of your main squeeze, how's that bimbo doing?

LAPDOG:  She's doing fine.  That's the reason for my call.

BUCKY:   What do you want me to cover up for you?

LAPDOG:  It's a lot easier than that.  Can you get a photo of DONNA GARRITY, my paramour, mistress, and main squeeze on the U.S. Currency?

BUCKY:  You hit me with that out of the blue, DAWG.  That will take some doing.  Are you looking to get her portrait on a half-dollar coin?

LAPDOG:   Actually, I was thinking of the $100 bill.

BUCKY:  Why the $100 bill?

LAPDOG:  Because she is not exactly a cheap date.

BUCKY:  (LAUGHTER)  You just kill me, Dawg.  Your main squeeze is nothing more than a two-bit whore.  If anything, she should be on the face of a 50-cent coin in my opinion.

LAPDOG:  You got me there, Bucky.

BUCKY:  How about getting her on some ISIS currency?

LAPDOG:  I would appreciate anything you can do for me.

BUCKY:  Okay, let me see what I can do.  Let me call DeWine who has strong connections to financiers of the 9/11 attack on the World Trade Center.  I'm sure he can get something done in terrorist and jihadi circles.

LAPDOG; Thanks, Bucky.  I really appreciate it.

BUCKY:   Give me a couple of days, DAWG.  I'll get back to you.

SO IT GOES IN THE ANNALS (& ANALS) OF POLITICAL CORRUPTION IN MEDINA COUNTY!