THE CURTAIN CAME DOWN ON THE MEDINA PLAYERS' PRODUCTION OF THE BOBBIT, WITH STRONG PERFORMANCES BY PHILANDERING, ILLEGITIMATE "jUDGE WEASELPECKER" COLLIER IN THE LEAD ROLE OF DILDO BAGGINS, THE PROTAGONIST. EQUALLY IMPRESSIVE WAS THE STRONG PERFORMANCE OF "WEASLPECKER" COLLIER'S OFFICIAL COURT REPORTER (WITH BENEFITS) DONNA "HAVE IT YOUR WAY" GARRITY AS "WEASELPECKER'S" BIMBO, IN THE ROLE OF BIMBO BAGGINS.
THE FINAL EVENING OF THE PRODUCTION, MET WITH A STANDING OVATION, WAS NOT WITHOUT INCIDENT, HOWEVER. AS THE FINAL CURTAIN CAME DOWN, THE AUDIENCE LET OUT WITH CHANTS OF, "DILDO! DILDO! DILDO!"
IN AN EMBARRASSING MOMENT, EVEN BEFORE THE ENTIRE CAST HAD ASSEMBLED FOR THE CURTAIN CALL, PINOCCHIO CENTNER, A PENCIL-PUSHING DESK JOCKEY AT THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE DARTED ONTO THE STAGE IN THE MISTAKEN BELIEF THE AUDIENCE WAS CALLING FOR HIS APPEARANCE, AND UNDERSTANDABLY SO.
AS IT TURNS OUT, CENTNER HAD BEEN AN UNDERSTUDY FOR "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER IN THE ROLE OF DILDO BAGGINS!
FOLLOWING THE CURTAIN CALL, THE MEDIA CRITIC FROM THE MEDINA GASSETTE SOUGHT COMMENT FROM "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER ABOUT CENTNER'S OBVIOUS FAUX PAS.
"WEASELPECKER" COLLIER, TRYING TO SMOOTH IT ALL OVER, SIMPLY CALLED IT ALL A COLOSSAL MISTAKE, CITING TO THE FACT THAT CENTNER HAD BEEN HIS UNDERSTUDY AND DESERVED SOME RECOGNITION AS A DILDO ! "NO HARM DONE THOUGH," SAID "WEASELPECKER." '"I AM CONFIDENT THAT CENTNER MAY VERY WELL LAND THE LEAD ROLE OF DILDO BAGGINS IN THE EVENT WE SHOULD REPRISE THE PRODUCTION. I KNOW OF NO ONE ELSE MORE QUALIFIED TO PLAY THE LEAD ROLE OF THE DILDO IN THE WHOLE OF MEDINA COUNTY. BESIDES, IT WILL GIVE HIM THE OPPORTUNITY TO GET OFF HIS DEAD ASS AND FROM BEHIND HIS DESK. BEING A DESK JOCKEY, LIKE CENTNER IS, TENDS TO WARP THE PERSPECTIVE OF THE REALITIES OF THE ACTUAL NEEDS OF THE COMMUNITY!"
SO, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER HAS GRACEFULLY PASSED THE BATON TO PINOCCHIO CENTNER, FROM ONE DILDO TO ANOTHER.
BRAVO !!!
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