NEITHER AUDITOR MIKE NOR PUBLIUS WILL WIN, PLACE, OR SHOW IN THE GREAT MEDINA SPELLING BEE

WHAT'S WITH THESE GUYS ?  Just like PUBLIUS, AUDITOR MIKE CAN'T SPELL, OR CONSTRUCT A MEANINGFUL SENTENCE.  AUDITOR MIKE is one more fine "public servant" who has to memorize the spelling of his name when he bounds out of bed in the morning.

Most recently, one more of AUDITOR MIKE'S split personalities has sprung to his defense.  This time, KERRI posted AUDITOR MIKE'S retort to DUEYB, who is not obviously not going to vote for AUDITOR MIKE and won't, therefore, receive one of those coveted tax breaks, compliments of AUDITOR MIKE.

Let's take a look a what KERRI, one of AUDITOR MIKE'S many and varied personalities, has posted at the Topix website, referenced earlier at this blog:

Kerri

DueyB wrote:

My brother rented from him and he was a SOB. This good guy image is so ridiculous. Just can't figure out why Sheriff's office isn't doing more?

Duey I think youre a lying sob. I rent from him now and he has helpod my family and me out more times than i care to say here. best land lorde i ever rented rfom! your brother must have been a piece of work if Mike got rid of him

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The blogger has taken the liberty of taking notice of AUDITOR MIKE'S spelling errors (HIGHLIGHTED IN YELLOW).
 

Let's examine AUDITOR MIKE'S post, line by line!
 

AUDITOR MIKE'S first "sentence":

Duey I think youre a lying sob.

Firstly, AUDITOR MIKE failed to place a COMMA between the words "Duey" and "I."  AUDITOR MIKE used the word "youre," properly spelled "YOU'RE," an abbreviation for "YOU ARE."
 

Turning now to AUDITOR MIKE'S second sentence:

I rent from him now and he has helpod my family and me out more times than i care to say here.

HELPOD ???  Is AUDITOR MIKE referring to a "helipad," a landing zone for a helicopter. AUDITOR MIKE has apparently not yet learned that the personal pronoun "I" is always capitalized. Rather a surprise coming from a Medina County Republicrat. 
 

AUDITOR MIKE'S next "sentence" is a real beauty: 

best land lorde i ever rented rfom!

This is actually no sentence at all, but merely a prepositional phrase.  AUDITOR MIKE should long ago have learned that a true sentence requires a subject and a verb.  AUDITOR MIKE'S prepositional phrase, which he attempts to pass off as a sentence, has neither.
 

Next we must examine AUDITOR MIKE'S use and spelling of the term "land lorde."  AUDITOR MIKE obviously thinks of himself as Medina County royalty, given his spelling of the word "lorde," an Old English term, at best.  Perhaps AUDITOR MIKE intended to use the term "landlord."
 

Looking next to AUDITOR MIKE'S use of the term "RFOM."  Even though AUDITOR MIKE misspelled the term, the blogger agrees with AUDITOR MIKE that substantial REFORM is needed to remove the public corruption from Medina County Government.
 

The blogger believes the best way to achieve the result of REFORMING Medina County Government is to vote out of office all incumbents, including AUDITOR MIKE.  Readers can see from his post that AUDITOR MIKE agrees!
 

Finally, we take a look at AUDITOR MIKE'S final "sentence:"

your brother must have been a piece of work if Mike got rid of him

AUDITOR MIKE has violated two primary rules of sentence construction.  AUDITOR MIKE failed to capitalize the first word in a sentence, and failed to end his "sentence" with a PERIOD. A SENTENCE ALWAYS ENDS WITH A PERIOD!

AUDITOR MIKE'S last sentence does, however, raise some substantive issues.

How do we know that AUDITOR MIKE "got rid of" Duey's brother?  Maybe Duey's brother didn't like being visited during the evening hours by rats and cockroaches living within the walls of AUDITOR MIKE'S rental property.

Then again, with the ungodly increase in fuel prices, it may be Duey's brother could no longer afford the gasoline to drive to AUDITOR MIKE'S MEDINA COUNTY OFFICE TO PAY HIS MONTHLY RENT.

We must also consider the matter of KERRI, who may be one of the many and varied personalities  of AUDITOR MIKE.

KERRI, however, may very well be a real person, perhaps one of the many "models" depicted in the numerous photographs and videos from RUSSIAN PORN SITES that reside on the hard drive of AUDITOR MIKE'S Medina County Computer.  Perhaps KERI emigrated from Mother Russia and now lives in one of AUDITOR MIKE'S rental properties.

KERRI claims that AUDITOR MIKE "has helpod (HELPED'???) my family and me out more times than i care to say here."  It may very well be that AUDITOR MIKE sends along a few rubles each month back to Mother Russia in support of KERRI'S family.

It's hard to know!

One thing is certain, AUDITOR MIKE and PUBLIUS, both fine Medina County "public servants," certainly appear to be bordering on functional illiteracy. AUDITOR MIKE and PUBLIUS would be better served by enrolling in classes at the Medina County Achievement Center to take remedial spelling and grammar classes from the other students enrolled there.

AUDITOR MIKE WOULD ALSO BE WELL SERVED BY ACQUIRING AND STUDYING THE MOST RECENT EDITION OF SPELLING FOR DUMMIES !