FOLLOWING AN INTENSIVE COURSE OF TESTOSTERONE REPLACEMENT THERAPY, ILLEGITIMATE MEDINA "jUDGE WEASELPECKER" COLLIER HAS DECIDED TO TEST HIS NEWLY FOUND "MANLINESS" BY GOING ON A SASQUATCH HUNT !

FOLLOWING HIS "VICTORY" OVER THE MEDINA COUNTY ELECTORATE, ILLEGITIMATE MEDINA "jUDGE WEASELPECKER" COLLIER HAS DECIDED TO DEMONSTRATE HIS NEWLY FOUND "MANLINESS" TO ALL THE UNINFORMED APATHETIC VOTERS, INCLUDING MEMBERS OF THE MEDINA CHAPTER OF THE KKK.

ANYONE WHO HAS WITNESSED "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER PIROUETTE BEFORE A JURY IN HIS KANGAROO COURTROOM #1 OVER AT THE MEDINA COUNTY COURTHOUSE, MOSQUE, BROTHEL, AND RAILROAD STATION HAS COME AWAY WITH THE IMPRESSION THAT "WEASELPECKER" IS MOST CERTAINLY "LIGHT IN THE LOAFERS."

AS A RESULT, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER HAS RECENTLY UNDERGONE AN INTENSIVE COURSE OF TESTOSTERONE REPLACEMENT THERAPY.

AFTER MULLING OVER HIS OPTIONS WITH HIS "OFFICIAL" COURT REPORTER (WITH BENEFITS), CONSORT, PARAMOUR, MISTRESS AND MAIN SQUEEZE DONNA "HAVE IT YOUR WAY" GARRITY, GARRITY SUGGESTED THAT "WEASELPECKER" GO ON A HUNT FOR THE MYTHICAL CREATURE IN POPULAR LORE, BIGFOOT, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS SASQUATCH.

AFTER AN INTENSIVE INTERNET SEARCH, REALIZING HE COULD NEVER REALLY PUT HIMSELF IN HARM'S WAY BY ENGAGING THIS CRYPTID, "WEASELPECKER" CAME UPON THESE IMPRESSIVE VIDEOS:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nqNVHKtrpUw

AND

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Kdw1KSkO1tI

THEN, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER CAME UPON THE FOLLOWING VIDEOS THAT SEALED THE DEAL.  A SASQUATCH HOTSPOT LOCATED LESS THAN A DAY'S DRIVE FROM MEDINA, OHIO!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uY1m2SI6rU8

AND

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgKUBl2GUjM&app=desktop

THAT WAS ALL IT TOOK, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER PLACED AN IMMEDIATE TELEPHONE CALL AND HIRED THIS GUIDE FOR A GENUINE SASQUATCH HUNT,

THE BIGFOOT GUIDE PREDICTS A SUCCESSFUL RESULT FROM "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER'S SCHEDULED SASQUATCH HUNT.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nGABDprRGnQ

HAVING ALREADY HIRED THIS GUIDE FOR HIS SASQUATCH HUNT, THE ONLY THING LEFT FOR "WEASELPECKER" TO DO IS TO RENT A MILITARY ISSUE FULLY ARMORED HUMVEE, JUST IN CASE HE ACTUALLY ENCOUNTERS SASQUATCH!

FORTUNATELY, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER RESERVED HIS  SASQUATCH HUNT WELL BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

IF HIS HUNT IS SUCCESSFUL, HE CAN PRESENT HIS MAIN SQUEEZE AND COURT REPORTER (WITH BENEFITS) DONNA GARRITY WITH A PERFECTLY UNIQUE CHRISTMAS GIFT: A PAIR OF GENUINE BIGFOOT SLIPPERS.

REGULAR READERS MAY VERY WELL RECALL THAT, IN THE MANNER OF A GIFT AT A CHRISTMAS PAST, GARRITY GIFTED "WEASELPECKER" WITH A PAIR OF PREMIUM RAT SLIPPERS. WHAT BETTER GIFT COULD THERE BE FOR A CHEESE-EATING RAT BASTARD LIKE "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER ?

HAPPY HUNTING, NUMB NUTS!  DON'T SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FOOT.