Thursday, December 1, 2016

SASQUATCH GUIDE COMES TO "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER'S RESCUE !

AS READERS LEARNED IN THE PREVIOUS POST AT THIS BLOG, ILLEGITIMATE MEDINA COUNTY "jUDGE WEASELPECKER" COLLIER HAS COMPLETED AN INTENSIVE COURSE OF TESTOSTERONE THERAPY.  IN ORDER TO DEMONSTRATE HIS NEWLY FOUND "MANLINESS," "WEASELPECKER" HAS HIRED A GUIDE IN NEW YORK STATE TO HUNT SASQUATCH ON THE GUIDE'S PRIVATE PROPERTY.

NOW IT SHOULD BE SAID THAT THE SASQUATCH GUIDE IS REALLY A PRETTY SHARP GUY AND DOES SOME BACKGROUND ON HIS POTENTIAL CLIENTS SINCE MANY JUST DO NOT MEASURE UP TO THE TASK OF TAKING ON BIGFOOT.

WHILE DOING HIS USUAL DUE DILIGENCE, THE SASQUATCH GUIDE CAME UPON THIS ANONYMOUS MISSIVE POSTED ON THE INTERNET AT THE "DEPENDS" WEBSITE.  "DEPENDS," OF COURSE, PROVIDES PROTECTION TO ADULTS FOR UNEXPECTED "ACCIDENTS" - IN OTHER WORDS ADULT DIAPERS.
I don't know what to do. I work as a court reporter at the Medina County, Ohio courthouse. The other day, i came into the judge's office, and it smelled horrible! i went to the back where the trash cans are, and saw the judge, stashing something in the garbage. I asked him what it was, and he was very evasive and kept trying to change the subject. Than (sic) another day, it happened again, really bad smell, only this time, i caught a glimpse of what he had in the bag he was throwing out. It was a pair of men's briefs with a large B(owel) M(ovement) in them! So now i know that he is soiling in his underwear. I have wrote (sic) about this judge before, and how he needs help with wetting, but i fear soiling may be beyond what Depends can do for him. Also, he is kind of a weird guy, so i can never really get him to talk about it. He only says "oops i guess i had an accident, no big deal" and then changes the subject to altering transcripts.. One day i got frustrated, looked at him, and said: "This is a very big deal! Your a grown man who poops in his pants! you've got to do something about your problem!" after that outburst, he won't talk to me at all except to ask me to change and alter transcripts or to demand a knob job! Can anyone please give me some advice on how to approach this? i know he needs help as much as I do, with the smell and all, but he is not going to just come out and say it. -  - HOLDING MY NOSE IN MEDINA
WELL, THE SASQUATCH GUIDE PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER AND, OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF HIS HEART, SENT "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER A COUPON FOR A FREE SAMPLE OF "DEPENDS." 



BEST GUESS IS THAT THE SASQUATCH GUIDE HAS RIGHTLY FIGURED THAT ONCE "WEASLPECKER" COLLIER GETS A LOAD OF A REAL SASQUATCH IN THE FLESH, "WEASELPECKER" IS LIKELY TO DROP A LOAD IN HIS DRAWERS.

THE FREE SAMPLE IS A NEWLY REFINED "FIT-FLEX" VERSION THAT IS GUARANTEED TO NOT BIND OR OTHERWISE RESTRICT "WEASELPECKER'S" MOVEMENTS AS HE RUNS AWAY, TOP SPEED, FROM BIGFOOT, AT FIRST SIGHT.

"WEASELPECKER" WOULD BE WISE TO PICK UP AN ENTIRE BOX.  IN FACT, SHOULD HE PURCHASE A BOX OF "DEPENDS" AT THE LOCAL WALMART, HE CAN EXPECT TO RECEIVE, IN ADDITION, EXCELLENT CUSTOMER SERVICE.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tPJzXm3cRqc

OH, TO BE A FLY ON THE WALL.  THEN AGAIN, THERE WILL PROBABLY BE A LOT OF FLIES ON THE WALL AFTER "WEASELPECKER'S" FIRST BIGFOOT ENCOUNTER AND SUBSEQUENT CHANGE OF "UNDERWEAR" !!!

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