PRELIMINARIES FOR "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER'S SASQUATCH HUNT GOT OFF ON THE WRONG "FOOT" !!!

AS EXPECTED, IN A SHOW OF HIS NEWLY FOUND "MANLINESS," THE RESULT OF AN INTENSIVE COURSE OF TESTOSTERONE REPLACEMENT THERAPY, PHILANDERING ILLEGITIMATE MEDINA COUNTY "jUDGE WEASELPECKER" COLLIER TRAVELED TO NEW YORK STATE TO EMBARK ON HIS FIRST-EVER SASQUATCH HUNT, BRINGING WITH HIM A FULL BOX OF DEPENDS ADULT DIAPERS (WHICH ULTIMATELY CAME IN HANDY, AS IT TURNED OUT).

UPON ARRIVING AT THIS CLOSELY GUARDED BIGFOOT HOTSPOT, "WEASELPECKER"  MADE HIS INTRODUCTIONS TO THE SASQUATCH GUIDE HE HIRED FOR THIS "MANLY" ADVENTURE.

THE FIRST SHOCKER CAME WHEN THE SASQUATCH GUIDE DISCLOSED TO "WEASELPECKER" THAT HE HAD ACTUALLY CAPTURED A LIVE BIGFOOT, WHICH WAS THEN HELD IN CAPTIVITY!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qj4U7njCioo

AT "WEASELPECKER'S" INSISTENCE, THE SASQUATCH GUIDE RELUCTANTLY GAVE "WEASELPECKER"  A LOOK DESPITE HIS BETTER JUDGMENT.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zBmCfuacBQw&t=172s

PHILANDERER THAT HE IS, "WEASELPECKER'S" FIRST IMPULSE WAS TO LUNGE FORWARD AND SCREW MS. SASQUATCH !!!

"WEASELPECKER" THEN HESITATED, SUDDENLY CALLING TO MIND THAT DONNA GARRITY, HIS "OFFICIAL" COURT REPORTER (WITH BENEFITS), CONSORT, PARAMOUR, MISTRESS, AND MAIN SQUEEZE WAS WAITING FOR HIM, IN FACT LONGING FOR HIS RETURN TO THE HONEYMOON SUITE AT THE LOVE NEST MOTEL,  LOCATED A SHORT DRIVE FROM BEAVER'S DAM, NEW YORK.

"WEASELPECKER'S" NEXT IMPULSE WAS TO SHOOT THE CAPTIVE MS. SASQUATCH AS SHE STOOD IN THE OPEN DOOR OF THE SASQUATCH GUIDE'S BARN!

THE SASQUATCH GUIDE QUICKLY INTERVENED AND REMINDED "WEASELPECKER" THAT THE ETHICS TO WHICH ALL TRUE HUNTERS SUBSCRIBE FORBID THE KILLING OF A CAPTIVE ANIMAL LIKE MS. SASQUATCH.

"WEASELPECKER" BECAME CONFUSED IMMEDIATELY.  HE HAD NO CONCEPT OF ETHICS IN ANY CONTEXT, INCLUDING IN HIS KANGAROO COURTROOM #1.

AFTER CALMING "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER,  THE SASQUATCH GUIDE ASSURED "WEASELPECKER" OF A SUCCESSFUL SASQUATCH HUNT GIVEN THE FACT THAT THE GUIDE HAD MANAGED TO LOCATE A NEARBY SASQUATCH DEN.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=r3x4yU8Us8E

NOW WAS THE TIME FOR "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER  TO "CAMO UP" AND PREPARE TO CONFRONT SASQUATCH IN ITS NATURAL ENVIRONMENT !

READERS WILL UNDOUBTEDLY BE AMUSED BY "WEASELPECKER'S" FOIBLES AS HE ENCOUNTERS BIGFOOT IN THE FORESTS OF NEW YORK STATE, UPCOMING IN THE FOLLOWING POSTS AT THIS BLOG.