REGULAR READERS OF THIS BLOG WILL RECALL THE CHRONICLE OF THE FIRST NIGHT OF "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER'S "MANLY" SASQUATCH HUNT, FOLLOWING AN INTENSIVE COURSE OF TESTOSTERONE REPLACEMENT THERAPY. FOLLOWING HIS RECENT ELECTION VICTORY OVER THE MEDINA ELECTORATE IN YET ANOTHER RIGGED MEDINA COUNTY ELECTION.
FOLLOWING HIS INTENSIVE COURSE OF TESTERONE REPLACEMENT THERAPY, "WEASELPECKER" DECIDED TO ATTEMPT TO DEMONSTRATE TO ALL THE UNINFORMED AND APATHETIC VOTERS, WHO ELECTED TO RETAIN HIM AS A "jUDGE" IN THE CORRUPT MEDINA COUNTY "JUSTUS" SYSTEM, HE IS NOT A COMPLETE CHICKENSHIT, NOTWITHSTANDING EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY!
READERS ARE REMINDED THAT PHILANDERING ILLEGITIMATE MEDINA COUNTY "jUDGE WEASELPECKER" COLLIER SENT MORE THAN 400 OFFENSIVE ELECTRONIC MESSAGES USING A PLETHORA OF ASSUMED IDENTITIES, INCLUDING "LEPERCHAUN SAM" ( NOTICE HOW THIS MORON IMPROPERLY SPELLED THE WORD "L-E-P-R-E-C-H-A-U-N) ! GIVEN THE FACT THAT "WEASELPECKER" CHOSE TO HIDE BEHIND ALL THOSE ALIASES, AFRAID TO REVEAL HIS TRUE IDENTITY, MAKES HIM A FIRST-CLASS CHICKENSHIT IN SERIOUS NEED OF THERAPY AND PSYCHOTROPIC MEDS.
AS CHRONICLED AT THIS BLOG, THE FIRST NIGHT OF "WEASELPECKER'S" SASQUATCH HUNT WAS MARRED BY A CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY WHEN "WEASELPECKER" MISTAKENLY TOOK AN ALBINO SASQUATCH FOR CORRUPT MEDINA COUNTY PROSECUTOR DINO HOE-MAN AND ATTEMPTED TO KISS THE ASS OF THE ALBINO SASQUATCH MUCH LIKE HE KISSES HOE-MAN'S ASS DAILY.
READERS WILL RECALL THAT WHEN THE ALBINO SASQUATCH LET OUT A BONE-SHATTERING ROAR, AS EXPECTED "WEASELPECKER" DROPPED A LOAD IN HIS DEPENDS ADULT DIAPER, AND BEAT FEET IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION, ALL THE WHILE WAILING REPEATEDLY, "FEETS DON'T FAIL ME NOW."
ULTIMATELY CAME TIME TO PREPARE FOR THE SECOND AND FINAL NIGHT OF "WEASELPECKER'S" SASQUATCH HUNT!
FOLLOWING ALL OF THE PREVIOUS NIGHT'S GOINGS-ON, THE SASQUATCH GUIDE ISSUED "WEASELPECKER" A SURE-FIRE REMEDY FOR THE SCENT TRAIL COLLIER LEFT IN THE VIRGIN FORESTS OF NEW YORK.
AFTER LUBING UP WITH AMPLE QUANTITIES OF "VIPOO" AND "MASTER CRAPSMAN," "WEASELPECKER" DOUBLE-DIAPERED HIMSELF BY SLIDING INTO ONE PAIR OF DEPENDS ADULT DIAPERS, AND THEN LAYERED UP BY FITTING A SECOND DEPENDS ADULT DIAPER OVER THE FIRST.
"WEASELPECKER" WAS NOW READY TO "GO."
"WEASELPECKER" NEXT OUTFITTED HIMSELF IN THE CUSTOM CAMO, GIVING HIM THE DISGUISE AND APPEARANCE OF A WIRE FENCE, SHOWN ONCE AGAIN BELOW OVER THE LEFT SHOULDER OF THE SASQUATCH GUIDE.
CUSTOM CAMO IS REALLY EFFECTIVE, BUT FOR "WEASELPECKER'S" UNCOVERED MELON-SHAPED CHROME DOME.
AT THE WITCHING HOUR OF 3:00 AM, THE SASQUATCH GUIDE LED "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER OUT INTO THE WILDS OF THE FORESTS OF NEW YORK STATE.
SOME READERS MAY HAVE QUESTIONED THE QUALIFICATIONS OF THIS PARTICULAR SASQUATCH GUIDE TO LEAD "WEASELPECKER" ON HIS "MANLY," TESTOSTERONE-FUELED SASQUATCH HUNT.
READERS CAN BE ASSURED THAT THE SASQUATCH GUIDE COMES FROM A LONG LINE OF SASQUATCH HUNTERS, SO MUCH SO THAT SASQUATCH HUNTING IS IN HIS BLOOD.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AvzIAq8ZYd0
AS THE SASQUATCH GUIDE LED "WEASELPECKER" INTO THE HEART OF DARKNESS, THE SASQUATCH GUIDE WAS CERTAIN TO KEEP "WEASELPECKER" WALKING IN FRONT OF HIM TO AVOID BEING SHOT IN THE BACK. GOOD JUDGMENT THERE, TO BE SURE!
AS THEY VENTURED DEEPER INTO THE FOREST, A COMMOTION ERUPTED IN THE BUSHES IN FRONT OF "WEASELPECKER." AS SOON AS "WEASELPECKER" HEARD
THE COMMOTION IN FRONT OF HIM, HE LET FLY WITH A ROUND OR TWO FROM HIS SHOTGUN.
FORTUNATELY, THE SASQUATCH GUIDE WAS EQUIPPED WITH HIS GO-PRO CAMERA AND CAPTURED THE FOLLOWING FOOTAGE.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VKzYJM7DHw0
INITIALLY, GIVEN "WEASELPECKER'S" REACTION AFTER DISCHARGING HIS SHOTGUN, THE SASQUATCH GUIDE FEARED THAT "WEASELPECKER" SHOT HIMSELF IN THE FOOT! NO SUCH LUCK! THAT TURNED OUT TO BE A UNFOUNDED CONCERN, HOWEVER.
MORE LIKELY, "WEASELPECKER" SHOT BIGFOOT IN THE FOOT. AFTER ALL, THEY DON'T CALL THIS CRYPTID "BIGFOOT" FOR NOTHING. HE (SHE) OBVIOUSLY HAS BIG FEET!
IT SHOULD COME AS NO SURPRISE TO THE READERS THAT, AS SOON AS "WEASELPECKER" LET FLY A LOAD FROM HIS SHOTGUN, HE SIMULTANEOUSLY LET FLY WITH ANOTHER LOAD . . . INTO HIS DEPENDS DOUBLED-UP ADULT DIAPERS!
FORTUNATELY FOR THE SAKE OF THE SASQUATCH GUIDE, THE PUTRID ORDERS THAT MIGHT OTHERWISE BE WAFTING FROM "WEASELPECKER" HAD BEEN SUFFICIENTLY NEUTRALIZED BY "WEASELPECKER'S" MORE THAN GENEROUS APPLICATION OF VIPOO AND MASTER CRAPSMAN.
THANK THE GOOD LORD FOR SMALL FAVORS!
AFTER A BRIEF FACE-TO-FACE CONFRONTATION WITH SASQUATCH, "WEASELPECKER" PANICKED AND FLED IN A STATE OF WILD CONFUSION.
AFTER THE SMOKE HAD CLEARED, AND "WEASELPECKER" CLEANED HIMSELF UP IN A DECONTAMINATION CHAMBER, THE SASQUATCH GUIDE ASKED "WEASELPECKER" WHY HE HADN'T FINISHED OFF THE SASQUATCH WITH ANOTHER SHOT.
"WEASELPECKER," STILL VISIBLY SHAKEN FROM HIS SECOND ENCOUNTER WITH SASQUATCH, REPLIED, "WHEN I LOOKED AT HIM SQUARE IN THE FACE, IT WAS LIKE LOOKING IN MIRROR! NO MATTER HOW MANY INNOCENT CITIZENS I HELPED DINO HOE-MAN TO CONVICT WITHOUT ANY REL EVIDENCE, I JUST COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TO SHOOT SOMEONE WHO COULD HAVE EASILY BEEN MY BROTHER!"
BIGFOOT DOES BEAR AN EERIE RESEMBLANCE TO "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER, DOESN'T HE? NOTICE THE NEANDERTHAL BROW RIDGE AND MELON-SHAPED CHROME DOME - JUST LIKE COLLIER! A NOT-SO-DISTANT RELATIVE?
No comments:
Post a Comment