AS ANY SERIOUS SASQUATCH HUNTER WELL KNOWS, THE BEST TIME TO GO SASQUATCH HUNTING IS WELL AFTER MIDNIGHT, GENERALLY BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 3:00 AM AND 6:00 AM.
AS REGULAR READERS OF THIS BLOG ARE AWARE, THE SASQUATCH GUIDE RELUCTANTLY PERMITTED "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER TO VIEW A FEMALE SASQUATCH HELD CAPTIVE IN THE GUIDE'S BARN.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cV-UkPaAbcg
AS PREVIOUSLY REPORTED, THAT INITIAL ENCOUNTER DID NOT GO WELL!
AT ABOUT MIDNIGHT, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER BEGAN PREPARATIONS FOR THE FIRST NIGHT OF HIS SASQUATCH HUNT.
AFTER SLIDING INTO HIS FIRST PAIR OF DEPENDS, ADULT DIAPERS WITH "FLEX FIT" TECHNOLOGY, "WEASELPECKER" DRESSED IN FULL CUSTOM CAMO, WHICH THE SASQUATCH GUIDE DESIGNED AND FURNISHED.
A WORD ABOUT THE CUSTOM CAMO WHICH THE SASQUATCH GUIDE DESIGNED EXPRESSLY FOR SASQUATCH HUNTING IS IN ORDER. THE CUSTOM CAMO CREATES THE ILLUSION THAT THE OBSERVER IS SIMPLY LOOKING AT AN OPEN FIELD THROUGH A WIRE FENCE. THIS INGENIOUS CAMO DESIGN NOT ONLY DISGUISES THE HUNTER BUT ALSO CREATES THE IMPRESSION OF A BARRIER FENCE, WHICH SASQUATCH IS LIKELY TO AVOID THEREBY PROTECTING THE SASQUATCH HUNTER FROM A DIRECT ATTACK BY A CHARGING SASQUATCH. IT IS, IN A WORD, AN INGENIOUS DESIGN, PICTURED LATER IN THIS POST.
AT APPROXIMATELY 3:00 AM, "WEASELPECKER" AND HIS SASQUATCH GUIDE SET OUT ON THE FIRST NIGHT OF "WEASLPECKER'S" SASQUATCH.
THE GOING WAS SLOW AS THE DUO MADE THEIR WAY THROUGH THE FORESTS OF NEW YORK STATE, PROGRESSING TOWARD THE SASQUATCH DEN PREVIOUSLY SHOWN AT THIS BLOG.
UPON ARRIVAL AT THE SASQUATCH DEN AT APPROXIMATELY 4:30 AM, ALL WAS QUIET. "WEASELPECKER" AND THE SASQUATCH GUIDE HUNKERED DOWN IN A CLUMP OF BUSHES ABOUT 25 FEET DISTANT FROM THE SASQUATCH DEN WAITING FOR SOME SIGN OF ACTIVITY. OF COURSE, "WEASELPECKER" PROMPTLY FELL ASLEEP, MUCH LIKE HE DOES IN ANY OF HIS CHARADE SHOW TRIALS HE CONDUCTS IN HIS KANGAROO COURTROOM #1 OVER AT THE MEDINA COUNTY COURTHOUSE, MOSQUE, BROTHEL &RAILROAD STATION.
SUDDENLY, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER WAS STARTLED AND AWOKE TO THE SOUNDS OF RUSTLING IN THE BUSHES NEARBY.
ALL OF A SUDDEN, "WEASELPECKER" WAS SHOCKED TO SEE WHAT TURNED OUT TO BE AN ALBINO SASQUATCH, PICTURED BELOW, PASSING WITHIN AN ARMS LENGTH.
"WEASELPECKER" WAS SHOCKED BEYOND BELIEF !!!
INITIALLY, HE WONDERED WHY ONE OF HIS KLAN BROTHERS FROM THE MEDINA REPUBLI-KKK-RAT PARTY HAD FOUND HIS WAY INTO THE MIDST OF HIS SASQUATCH HUNT.
AS "WEASELPECKER" BENT OVER TO KISS THE ASS OF HIS KLAN BROTHER, IN HIS USUAL FASHION, HE MUTTERED, "DINO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
THE ALBINO SASQUATCH, WHOM "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER MISTOOK FOR CORRUPT MEDINA COUNTY PROSECUTOR DINO HOE-MAN, THE "GODFATHER" OF MEDINA ORGANIZED CRIME, WHEELED AROUND AND LET OUT A HORRIFYING ROAR THAT SHOOK "WEASELPECKER" TO THE VERY CORE.
THE SASQUATCH GUIDE, WHO IS NOT UNACQUAINTED WITH SASQUATCH BEHAVIOR, REPORTS THAT, AT THE SOUND OF THE SASQUATCH ROAR, HE HEARD THE LOUD RELEASE OF INTESTINAL GAS FROM "WEASELPECKER" FOLLOWED BY THE GUSHING SOUND OF "WEASELPECKER" VACATING HIS BOWELS, DROPPING A LOAD IN HIS DRAWERS, (DEPENDS,) RATHER LIKE THE SOUND CAUSED BY STEPPING ON A LARGE, ROTTING TOMATO.
IT WAS A GOOD THING THAT "WEASELPECKER" WAS PREPARED FOR THIS EVENTUALITY.
ACCORDING TO THE SASQUATCH GUIDE, "WEASELPECKER" TURNED AND BEAT FEET INTO THE BRUSH IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION, SCREAMING REPEATEDLY, "FEET, DON'T FAIL ME NOW!"
WITH BOTH "WEASELPECKER" AND THE ALBINO SASQUATCH IN FULL FLIGHT, THE ONLY THING FOR THE SASQUATCH GUIDE TO DO WAS TO ROUND UP "WEASELPECKER" AND GET HIM BACK TO SASQUATCH CENTRAL.
TRACKING WEASELPECKER'S" RETREAT THROUGH THE FOREST WAS NOT PARTICULARLY DIFFICULT FOR THE SASQUATCH GUIDE, AN EXPERIENCED OUTDOORSMAN. ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS FOLLOW "WEASELPECKER'S" SCENT TRAIL THROUGH THE WOODS!
A WITNESS DESCRIBES ENCOUNTERING "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER EMERGING FROM THE WOOD LINE IN FLIGHT FROM HIS FIRST SASQUATCH ENCOUNTER. THE WITNESS DESCRIBES "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER'S ODOR AS "PUTRID." SEE FOR YOURSELF!
https://youtu.be/-vswTeyLe7c
THE SASQUATCH GUIDE QUICKLY LOCATED "WEASELPEKER" AND GOT HIM BACK TO SAFETY.
AS A MOMENTO OF "WEASELPECKER'S" FIRST NIGHT IN PURSUIT OF SASQUATCH, THE SASQUATCH GUIDE MEMORIALIZED THE EVENT WITH A POST-HUNT PHOTO, SHOWN BELOW:
READERS WILL NOTE HOW EFFECTIVELY THE CUSTOM CAMO HAS CONCEALED "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER, DEPICTED OVER THE LEFT SHOULDER OF THE SASQUATCH GUIDE, EXCEPT FOR HIS UNCOVERED MELON-SHAPED CHROME DOME. HE REALLY DOES LOOK LIKE A WIRE FENCE, DOESN'T HE?
STILL ONE MORE NIGHT TO GO ON THIS "MANLY" SASQUATCH HUNT BY "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER, SURE TO BE A GRIN !!!
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