Monday, July 17, 2017

LOCAL FIRM DONATES LOLA, THE LOVE DOLL, TO PHILANDERING, ILLEGITIMATE "jUDGE WEASELPECKER" COLLIER !



THE BLOGGER HAS UNCOVERED YET ANOTHER INTERESTING STORY, YET TO BE TOLD.  AS REGULAR READERS OF THIS BLOG ARE AWARE, THE BLOGGER HAS COMMENTED UPON THE EFFORTS OF PHILANDERING, ILLEGITIMATE "jUDGE  WEASELPECKER" COLLIER TO BRING EMERGING TECHNOLOGY OF THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY INTO HIS KANGAROO COURTROOM #1 OVER AT THE MEDINA COUNTY COURTHOUSE, MOSQUE, BROTHEL & RAILROAD STATION.

FOR EXAMPLE, THE BLOGGER WAS THE FIRST NEWS OUTLET TO BREAK THE STORY THAT "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER IS NOW RELYING UPON A NEW HIGH-TECH LEGAL RESEARCH TOOL, SHOWN BELOW.







AS TECHNOLOGY CONTINUES TO ADVANCE, THIS HAS BECOME THE AGE OF THE ROBOT!

IN FACT, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER HAS INCORPORATED ROBOTICS INTO HIS KANGAROO COURTROOM # 1 STAFF.

SHOWN BELOW IS A PHOTOGRAPH OF "WEASELPECKER'S" NEWEST STAFF MEMBER, LOLA, THE LOVE DOLL!





IN A GESTURE TO SPUR THE LOCAL ECONOMY, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER HAS CHOSEN TO SUPPORT A LOCAL MEDINA COUNTY FIRM AND ORDERED LOLA, THE LOVE DOLL (FIRST GENERATION), LATER DONATED BY THE COMPANY AS A GESTURE OF GOOD WILL (BRIBE).

"WEASELPECKER" WAS GIVEN A PRIVATE AND PERSONAL "FIRST-HAND" DEMONSTRATION IN HIS BROTHEL CHAMBERS.  COLLIER IS SAID TO HAVE "COME" TO THE CONCLUSION THAT LOLA "PERFORMED" FLAWLESSLY.

PROMOTIONAL MATERIALS DESCRIBE LOLA, THE LOVE DOLL AS HAVING FIRM, FULLY FORMED BREASTS, LUSCIOUS FULLY FUNCTIONAL LIPS. AND IS FULLY AMBULATORY. SHE EVEN BENDS AT THE WAIST UPON COMMAND AND HAS LIFE-LIKE WRIST ACTION.

THE DELUXE MODEL ALREADY IN "SERVICE" IN "WEASELPECKER'S" CHAMBERS, IS EQUIPPED WITH A FLOW-THROUGH AIR FILTRATION SYSTEM WITH AN AIR INTAKE IN LOLA'S MOUTH.  DOCUMENTED LABORATORY TESTING HIS PROVEN THE SUCTION OF THE FILTRATION SYSTEM IS SO EFFICIENT IT IS SAID THAT LOLA, THE LOVE DOLL CAN SUCK A GOLF BALL THROUGH A GARDEN HOSE, A FEATURE PARTICULARLY "SATISFYING" TO "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER.

AS ALWAYS, GOOD NEWS TRAVELS FAST.

LOLA, THE LOVE DOLL HAS BECOME SO POPULAR, IT IS REPORTED THAT MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF'S CRAPTAIN DAVID CENTNER HAS PLACED HIS OWN ORDER FOR THE DELUXE LOLA MODEL WITH THE OPTIONAL FLOW-THROUGH AIR FILTRATION SYSTEM!

THERE IS A SIDE NOTE TO ALL OF THIS.  THE BLOGGER RECENTLY REVIEWED CAMPAIGN FINANCE REPORTS AT THE MEDINA COUNTY BOARD OF ELECTIONS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, THE BLOGGER FOUND THAT "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER CHARGED OFF $243.00 IN KRISPY KREME DONUTS TO HIS CAMPAIGN FUND. BEST GUESS IS THAT "WEASELPECKER" AND HIS CAMPAIGN MANAGER, CONSORT, PARAMOUR, MISTRESS AND MAIN SQUEEZE, DONNA "HAVE IT YOUR WAY" GARRITY HAD A RAVENOUS CASE OF THE "MUNCHIES" AFTER ONE OF THEIR USUAL AND CUSTOMARY WEEKEND TRYSTS.

THE UPSHOT IS THAT LOLA, THE LOVE DOLL WILL BE OFFERING "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER A COMFORTING LEVEL OF COMPANIONSHIP WHEN GARRITY IS AWAY, ATTENDING WEIGHT WATCHERS MEETINGS IN THE EVENING HOURS.

EMERGING TECHNOLOGIES HAVE NO BOUNDARIES, AS "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER HAS DISCOVERED BY SUPPLEMENTING HIS OFFICE STAFF WITH LOLA, THE LOVE DOLL, THE LATEST ADVANCE IN "SERVICE" ROBOTICS! 

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