AS REGULAR READERS OF THIS BLOG WELL KNOW, THE BLOGGER HAS PRESENTED UNDISPUTED EVIDENCE THAT "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER HAS BEEN INVOLVED IN A LONGSTANDING SORDID SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH COURT REPORTER DONNA "HAVE IT YOUR WAY" GARRITY, "WEASELPECKER'S" PARAMOUR, MISTRESS AND MAIN SQUEEZE.
MOREOVER, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER IS SAID TO BE A RABID GOLFER. IT IS KNOWN THAT, AT VARIOUS TIMES, "WEASELPECKER" AND GARRITY ARE SAID TO SHARE A MUTUAL FONDNESS FOR FONDLING "WEASELPECKER'S" BALLS, WHICH NEVER FAILS TO BRING A SMILE TO "WEASELPECKER'S" MISSHAPEN FACE.
NOW GIVEN THE FACT THAT "WEASELPECKER" SEEMS TO TAKE HIS GOLF GAME SERIOUSLY, TO THE EXTENT HE IS SAID TO SCRATCH HIS BALLS 3 OR 4 TIMES AS HE APPROACHES EACH TEE ("SCRATCH" GOLFER), IT SHOULD COME AS NO SURPRISE THAT HE HAS ASKED GARRITY TO GIVE HIM A GIFT FOR THE "MAN" WHO HAS EVERYTHING, INCLUDING A WIFE AND TEENAGED DAUGHTER TUCKED SAFELY AWAY AT HOME AND A COURT REPORTER, PARAMOUR, MISTRESS, AND MAIN SQUEEZE AVAILABLE AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE TO MATERIALLY ALTER ANY TRANSCRIPT OF HIS CHOOSING. WHAT MORE COULD A CROOKED POLITICAL HACK ASK FOR?
WELL, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER HAS COME UP WITH IT! AFTER ONE OF HIS 90 SECOND SPURTS OF ROMANCE WITH GARRITY, "WEASELPECKER" LEANED ACROSS THE PILLOW AND WHISPERED PASSIONATELY INTO GARRITY'S HEARING AID THAT HE REALLY WANTED A SET OF PERSONALIZD, MONOGRAMMED BALLS.
KNOWING FULL WELL "WEASELPECKER'S" OBSESSION WITH THE GAME OF GOLF (UNLIKE THE STUDY OF LAW) IN A MOMENT OF PASSION AND WEAKNESS, GARRITY PROMISED TO PROVIDE THEM. IN A CLEARER MOMENT, GARRITY HAS COME TO REGRET HER PROMISE. GARRITY NOW FINDS HERSELF ON THE HORNS OF A DILEMMA.
SHE CAN'T FIND A TATTOO ARTIST WILLING TO TAKE ON THE JOB!
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