NOW THAT SUMMER IS IN FULL SWING, A NUMBER OF READERS REPORT THAT ILLEGITIMATE MEDINA COUNTY LAPDOG "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER HAS BEEN SEEN ON THE LINKS, SPORTING AROUND THE GOLF COURSE IN ONE OF THOSE FUNKY LITTLE ELECTRIC GOLF CARTS WITH HIS COURT REPORTER, PARAMOUR, MISTRESS, AND MAIN SQUEEZE DONNA "HAVE IT YOUR WAY" GARRITY SEATED BESIDE HIM.
INFORMANTS REPORT THAT GARRITY WAS SEEN FONDLING "WEASELPECKERS" BALLS DURING THE RIDE BETWEEN HOLES WHILE "WEASELPECKER" SMILED BROADLY.
THE INFORMANT REPORTED THAT "WEASÈLPECKER" COLLIER IS THOUGHT TO BE A "SCRATCH" GOLFER.
ADMITTEDLY, THE BLOGGER IS NOT A GOLFER, HAVING NEVER THOUGHT IT APPEALING TO CHASE A LITTLE WHITE BALL AROUND THE COUNTRYSIDE, ROOTING AROUND IN THE GRASS LIKE A WOODCHUCK.
THE TERM "SCRATCH GOLFER" IS PUZZLING TO THE BLOGGER. EVEN AFTER EXPENDING NO SMALL AMOUNT OF TIME AND ENERGY PONDERING THIS MYSTERY.
ULTIMATELY, GIVEN THE REPRESENTATION THAT "WEASELPECKR" IS SAID TO BE A "SRATCH GOLFER," AND FURTHER ARMED WITH THE INFORMATION THAT "WEASELPECKER" HAS DEVELOPED QUITE A REPUTATION FOR FONDLING HIS BALLS AS HE IS SEATED ON THE BENCH IN HIS KANGAROO COURTROOM #1, THE BLOGGER HAS ARRIVED AT THE ONLY REASONABLE AND LOGICAL CONCLUSION.
IF, INDEED, "WEASELPECKER" IS A "SCRATCH GOLFER AS CLAIMED, IT CAN ONLY MEAN THAT HE SCRATCHES HIS BALLS TWO OR THREE TIMES FOR GOOD LUCK AS HE APPROACHES EACH TEE!
WHAT A CLASS GUY!
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