"WEASELPECKER" COLLIER EXPECTED TO EXCEL IN HIS ROLE AS FELLATIO HORNBLOWER !!!

PRELIMINARY REPORTS ARE IN FROM THE MEDINA GASSETTE MEDIA CRITIC THAT, AFTER SITTING THRU A DRESS REHERSAL, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER IS EXPECTED TO EXCEL IN HIS REPRISE OF THE ROLE OF FELLATIO HORNBLOWER!

THE MEDINA PLAYERS, A GROUP OF THESBIANS  FROM THE MEDINA COUNTY BAR & POCKPOCKET ASSN., HAS BEEN PREPARING FOR ITS FALL PRODUCTION OF FELLATIO HORNBLOWER, BLOWING IN THE WIND! 

THE FALL 2015 PRODUCTION IS BEING DIRECTED BY "ROSEY PALM"QUIST, AN ESTEEMED MEMBER OF THE MEDINA COUNTY BAR & PICKPOCKET ASSN.  THE GASSETTE'S MEDIA CRITIC BELIEVES "ROSEY PALM"QUIST HAS JUST THE RIGHT TOUCH TO PULL THIS OFF, A PARODY OF THE ORIGINAL WORK, WITH A VIRTUAL STROKE OF GENIUS WITH HELP FROM HIS FIVE SISTERS.

IN HIS LEADING ROLE AS FELLATIO, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER PLAYS THE YOUNGER BROTHER OF CAPTAIN HORATIO HORNBLOWER WHO, AT THE DIRECTION OF THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND, IS MANDATED TO HANDLE THE DISCHARGE OF SEAMEN FROM THE ROYAL NAVY.

ACCORDING TO THE MEDIA CRITIC, THIS UPCOMING PRODUCTION IS REPLETE WITH HUMOROUS SITUATIONS AND DOUBLE ENTENDRE.

WHILE NOT WISHING TO REVEAL THE ENTIRETY OF THE PRODUCTION OF FELLATIO HORNBLOWER, BLOWING IN THE WIND! THE CRITIC HAS GIVEN US A SNEAK PEEK FROM THE FIRST DRESS REHERSAL. 
TO SET THE STAGE, "WEASELPCKER" IS DRESSED IN PINK TIGHTS, PINK LOAFERS, A PURPLE BLOUSE, AND A GOLD-LAME CAPE.  "WEASELPECKER" IS COIFFED WITH A SILVER, CURLED HAIRPIECE REMINISCENT OF REV. AL SHARPTON, ALL IN HARMONY WITH HIS REAL-LIFE PERSONA AS LAUGHINGSTOCK OF MEDINA COUNTY!

WITH THAT MENTAL PICTURE IN MIND, LET US PROCEED TO THE OPENING SCENE.

AS THE CURTAIN RISES, CAPTAIN ARAB, PLAYED BY MEDINA ASS. PROSECUTOR MUSTAFAH FAOUQOUD RAZAVI, IS STANDING BY THE WHEEL, MAINTINING A SHARP LOOKOUT FOR BLOWING WHALES.

SIMULTANEOUSLY, THE MEDINA CHORALE, ACCOMPANIED BY THE MEDINA PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA AND JUG & WASHBOARD BAND, REGALES THE AUDIENCE WITH A CHORUS OF

BLOW, BLOW, BLOW YOUR BOAT,

GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM.

MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILLY

LIFE IS BUT A DREAM!

AS CAPTAIN ARAB KEEPS A SHARP EYE ON THE HORIZON, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER, IN THE ROLE OF FELLATIO, BURSTS FROM A CABIN DOOR AND DOES A PERFECT PIROUETTE ON HIS TIPPY-TOES AS ONE OF THE DECKHANDS EJACULATES WITH GUSTO, "THAR HE BLOWS!"  THEN, WITH A FLOURISH OF HIS GOLD-LAME CAPE, FELLATIO TAKES A DEEP BOW, GRATEFULLY ACKNOWLEDGING THE DECKHAND'S  HARDY SALUTATION.

THEN, "WEASELPECKER" ADDRESSES CAPTAIN ARAB, "I JUST BLEW A LIGHBULB IN MY CABIN!"  CAPTAIN ARAB LOOKS SQUARELY AT FELLATIO AND CHASTISES HIM, "THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE HERE FOR!  YOU HAVE EXPLICIT ORDERS FROM HER MAJESTY TO HANDLE THE DISCHARGE OF SEAMEN  FROM HER MAJESTY'S ROYAL NAVY." 

THEN CAPTAIN ARAB BARKS AN ORDER TO FELLATIO, "BLOW!  GO BELOW AND DO YOUR DUTY!  BLOW!"

WHEREUPON "WEASELPECKER" DOES ANOTHER PIROUETTE WITH A FLAIR OF HIS GOLD-LAME CAPE AND DUCKS DOWN BELOW DECKS.

CAPTAIN ARAB THEN TURNS TO DECKHAND SLEAZEBURY, WHO PLAYS HIMSELF, AND ORDERS, "SLEAZEBURY, DOWN BELOW TO FELLATIO AND LET HIM HANDLE YOUR DISCHARGE."

SLEAZEBURY LOOKS QUIZICALLY AT CAPTAIN ARAB AND ASKS, "WHAT DISCHARGE?"

THEN, AS THE WIND RISES, CAPTAIN ARAB THEN SNARLS AT SLEAZEBURY, "DOWN BELOW, NOW!  FELLATIO WILL SHOW YOU!"

AS SLEAZEBURY  DISAPPEARS BELOW DECKS, THE MEDINA CHORALE ONCE AGAIN  REGALES THE AUDIENCE

THE ANSWER, MY FRIEND, IS BLOWING IN THE WIND

THE ANSWER IS BLOWING IN THE WIND!

DIRECTOR "ROSEY PALM"QUIST IS QUICK TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE CONTRIBUTION OF "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER'S COURT REPORTER, PARAMOUR, MISTRESS, AND MAIN SQUEEZE, DONNA "HAVE IT YOUR WAY" GARRITY TO THE SUCCESS OF THIS PROJECT.  ACORDING TO "ROSEY PALM"QUIST, GARRITY WAS ALWAYS AROUND TO GET "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER "UP" WHEN HIS INSPIRATION WAS FLAGGING!

THERE IS LITTLE DOUBT THAT THE THESBIANS FROM THE MEDINA COUNTY BAR & PICKPOCKET ASSN. WILL PRESENT A CROWD-PLEASING PERFORMANCE OF FELLATIO HORNBLOWER, BLOWING IN THE WIND! WITH "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER, IN THE LEAD ROLE, GIVING A STERLING PERFORMANCE AND BRINGING FELLATIO TO LIFE.