THE SEASON FOR COUNTY FAIRS THROUGHOUT THE STATE OF OHIO IS NOW IN PROGRESS. IN FACT, THE MEDINA COUNTY FAIR HAS OPENED WIDE THE GATES FOR THE ANNUAL DISPLAY OF FARM ANIMALS, LARGELY RAISED BY THE YOUTH OF THE COUNTY PURSUANT TO PARTICIPATION IN SUCH NOTABLE PROGRAMS SUCH AS FFA AND 4-H.
THESE PROGRAMS, DIRECTED PRIMARILY AT YOUNG PEOPLE WHO MAY EVENTUALLY PURSUE CAREERS IN AGRICULTURAL PRODUCTION OF ONE SORT OR ANOTHER, ARE GENERALLY WHOLESOME ACTIVITIES WHICH CHANNEL ENERGIES AND EFFORTS OF YOUNG PEOPLE IN A POSITIVE DIRECTION.
BECAUSE OF THE GENERAL PROPOSITION THAT A COUNTY FAIR IS THE APPROPRIATE FORUM TO SHOWCASE THE TALENTS AND ACHIEVEMENTS BY YOUNG CITIZENS OF MEDINA COUNTY, IT WAS ABSOLUTELY SHOCKING TO RECEIVE REPORTS FROM FAIR GOERS THAT DONNA "HAVE IT YOUR WAY" GARRITY WAS SPOTTED STROKING "WEASELPECKER'S" COCK AT THE MEDINA COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS!!!
INFORMED SOURCES REPORT THAT FAIR GOERS REPORTED THIS INAPPROPRIATE CONDUCT TO MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF'S DEFECTIVES PATROLLING THE GROUNDS IN FULL DRESS UNIFORM. SHERIFF'S DEFECTIVES ARE REPORTED TO HAVE PROMPTLY NOTIFIED THE SHERIFF UPON THE MERE MENTION OF "WEASELPECKER'S" NAME IN CONNECTION WITH THE REPORTED INCIDENT.
IN ACCORD WITH THE OFFICIAL POLICY OF HIS OFFICE, THE SHERIFF INSTRUCTED ALL OF HIS DEFECTIVES TO IMMEDIATELY VACATE THE FAIRGROUNDS SO THEY COULD NOT LATER BE ACCUSED OF TURNING A BLIND EYE TO THE IMPROPER CONDUCT OF ONE OF MEDINA COUNTY'S PRIVILEGED ELITE.
WHILE THE SHERIFF ENGAGED IN THE DECISION-MAKING PROCESS, SHERIFF'S DEFECTIVES ON THE SCENE, WHO HAVE NOT YET LEARNED THE LESSON THAT AN INITIAL TELEPHONE REPORT NEVER TURNS OUT TO BE COMPLETELY ACCURATE, HASTENED TO RETREAT TO THEIR CARS TO RETRIEVE THEIR FULLY AUTOMATIC AR-15 ASSAULT RIFLES, PREPARING TO TAKE THE REPORTING CITIZENS INTO CUSTODY.
WHEN LATER ASKED WHY THEY WOULD TAKE THE REPORTING CITIZENS INTO CUSTODY, ONE OF THE DEFECTIVES REPLIED, "WE WERE GOING TO TAKE THEM INTO CUSTODY AND SORT IT OUT LATER!" THIS, OF COURSE, IS THE STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURE OF UNTRAINED SHERIFF'S DEFECTIVES WHO HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT OF PROBABLE CAUSE REQUIRED IN LAW TO TAKE ANYONE INTO CUSTODY!
NEVERTHELESS, COOLER HEADS PREVAILED AND THE FAIR COMMITTEE COMMENCED TO INVESTIGATE, PARTICULARLY GIVEN THAT FACT THAT MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF'S DEFECTIVES HAVE NO REAL EXPERIENCE CONDUCTING A THOROUGH AND COMPETENT INVESTIGATION. READERS NEED ONLY LOOK TO THE COMPLAINT OF MISCONDUCT OF CORRUPT MEDINA COUNTY AUDITOR, AND THIEF, MIKE "THE PERV" KOVACK AND THE FAILURE OT THE MEDINA COUNTY SHERIFF TO ADEQUATELY INVESTIGATE THAT MATTER!
PRELIMINARY INVESTIGATION BY THE FAIR COMMITTEE DISCLOSED THAT DONNA GARRITY, "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER'S COURT REPORTER (WITH BENEFITS) WAS REPORTED TO HAVE BEEN SEEN STROKING "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER'S COCK IN THE POULTRY BARN!
AS FAIR COMMITTEE MEMBERS CAUTIOUSLY APPROACHED THE POULTRY BARN, SURE ENOUGH THEY SPOTTED GARRITY STROKING"WEASELPECKER'S" COCK IN A DIMLY LIT CORNER OF THE BARN!
CITIZEN REPORTS WERE CONFIRMED!!! WHEN "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER SPIED FAIR OFFICIALS APPROACHING, HE BEGAN TO FURIOUSLY CHOKE HIS CHICKEN!
OFFICIALS QUICKLY INTERVENED AND WRESTED "WEASELPECKER'S" PET ROOSTER, JOHNSON, FROM "WEASELPECKER'S TIGHT GRIP.
FAIR OFFICIALS EJECTED "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER AND HIS COURT REPORTER (WITH BENEFITS) FROM THE FAIRGROUNDS.
NEITHER "WEASELPECKER" NOR GARRITY ARE "SPRING CHICKENS." AND WERE CHASTISED BY THE FAIR COMMITTEE FOR ENTERING HIS COCK, JOHNSON, IN A COMPETITION LIMITED BY THE RULES TO YOUNG PERSONS.
BECAUSE OF CONCERNS THAT "WEASELPECKER" COLLIER MIGHT CONTINUE TO CHOKE HIS CHICKEN OUT OF FRUSTRATION, THE FAIR COMMITTEE TURNED "WEASELPECKER'S" PET ROOSTER, JOHNSON, OVER TO THE MEDINA COUNTY ASPCA!
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